Teeter Totter Mama

All Work and No Play…

2010-06-16T13:22:00.000-07:00

…Makes Mama cranky! Man cub is gone this week. The WHOLE week! He’s spending time with his 23 year old cousin in San Francisco. Yes, I too was a little nervous about that arrangement, at first, then I contemplated what that week would be like. Just my husband and I… doing anything we want… when we want… WOW! I couldn’t have said yes fast enough. Sadly, I was forgetting one small thing, I’m in summer school right now.

I figured, I’m only taking one class, just how time consuming could THAT be? I mean, I’m an excellent student so it should be fine. –Gulp- In just this week alone I’ve spent 9.5hours on homework, and I haven’t even done today’s yet. That’s 6 hours yesterday and 3.5 on Monday. That time doesn’t even include my commute into Sacramento, nor my three hour class. Yeah… all work and no play!

Today after my class I was ready to head straight to the math lab for another marathon of school work when I stopped. I asked myself just what was I doing? What was so important that I couldn’t go home, have a lunch break with my husband, THEN get to my work here? The answer I came up with was nothing. I was the only thing stopping myself. My strive for perfection was getting in the way (once again) of my enjoyment of this time off from motherhood. I came straight home after school.

That work-play balance has always been tough for me. As a teenager I was more on the “all play” side of the fence. Now as an adult I’m almost possessed with a drive to “do it all!” Neither technique is healthy. Moderation is a friend to all and one I need to call on more often. So yes, I will study and get my homework done today, but not instead of spending some relaxing time, precious stolen time, alone.

A side note:
Starting July 1st I'll be exclusively blogging here, at Blogspot.com. A great site and I'm thrilled to have them host me. Hopefully I'll also be able to back-log and transfer my posts from the last three years off Sacbee.com. We'll see if I'm quite THAT tech!

A Mighty Mama

2010-06-09T08:56:00.000-07:00

I love it when I’m going through my day thinking I’m one bad mama because I manage to balance everything that I do pretty well, then I cross paths with a woman who makes me seem like the laziest person alive! Nothing like a little perspective to let you know your little struggles aren’t as big as you thought.

My summer class started this week and it’s proving to be far more difficult than I anticipated. I knew starting math back up again after a 20 year vacation would be tough, but I wasn’t counting on six hours of homework after a three hour class. Yup, nine hours of math every day! I met a woman in my class however who turned the hose on my little pity party.

This super mom is about my age and a veteran from the war in Iraq. Now here’s where I started to get super impressed; she has two year old twins and a three year old. She just got back together with her husband the week before school started because he promised to help her out more, (he wasn’t helping, so she walked.) She was hurt in Iraq, had brain damage from a head injury and three of her vertebras fused. She needs surgery and is on a ton of pain medication, but she works part time and is taking my kick-butt math class, PLUS another class. Oh yeah, she also lives 45min each way from school. This is the sound of me shutting up about my one stinking class, 16 year old kid, wonderfully helpful husband and very little work.

Now whenever I feel like what I’m doing is hard, or my back is a little sore from hunching over my homework, or I don’t feel like driving 20min to class, I think of this bad ass mama who is seriously kicking butt and taking names. She’s an inspiration and she doesn’t even know it. She’s too busy taking care of her family, working to become an RN and trying to forget the horrors of a war to know that I’m in awe of her every day. Thank you mighty mama for giving me a little perspective!

Winner?

2010-06-05T04:33:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow I run the Nike Women’s Fitness 5K in downtown Sacramento and I’m scared. Why? Because I’ve been down for the count the last two weeks with a bladder infection that went into my right kidney. I didn’t run for over a week (AT ALL!) and now when I do my little loop around the block I can feel the setback. YIKES!!!

Have I mentioned in the past that I tend to be a bit of a control freak perfectionist? Just check my 4.0GPA and you’ll see what I mean. If I set my mind to a goal, like running the WHOLE 3.1 miles tomorrow, I’m not going to be very happy if I don’t meet that goal. I know, I know… just do my best, walk if I have too, and I will, but I won’t be happy about it. I’m not very good at cutting myself slack, living in the moment and just doing my best. Three things I work on daily! Tomorrow just may test that resolve.

On the plus side, both my family and I have been kicking booty and taking names when it comes to avoiding junk food. Yesterday I found myself in Sacramento at 3:00, having only had a low-fat muffin all day. I was starving and every fast food joint seemed to be calling my name. Instead of caving in however, I headed straight to Whole Foods and made some healthy choices there. I think I spent the same amount as I would have at Burger King, but had a delicious lunch that fed me right. Even though Davis is a great place for fresh, organic foods, I consider Whole Foods to be nirvana. I could easily spend hours there, and hundreds of dollars we don’t have.

So, I think I just need to chill out, look at my accomplishments, be thankful I’m feeling better and enjoy the day tomorrow. There’s more than one way to be a “winner” and just letting go, rather than running the whole race, may be helping me reach my goal after all.

A "Thank You" Gift EVERYONE Will Love!

2010-06-03T07:43:00.000-07:00

It's the end of another school year and for me that means loads of teacher thank you gifts! Having a child with special needs, among many other things, means that I have many people to thank for all their hard work at man cub's school. My husband suggested getting everyone a lovely bottle of wine. Yes, that would indeed be an appreciated gesture, but it would also set us back over $100. YIKES!

I was looking for thoughtful, but less expensive idea's when my sister-in-law had a stroke of genius. "How about chocolate covered strawberries?" She suggested. I loved the idea. I have yet to meet anyone who doesn't love a good chocolate covered strawberry.

Sadly, it's still too early in the year to find the wonderful long-stemmed variety, and I didn't have the time to special order them. Luckily I found a treasure trove at the Nugget Market in Vacaville. Giant ORGANIC strawberries! They were beautiful, and on sale (I think $2.99 a lb.) I snatched up about 6lbs of them, tossed heavy cream and white chocolate into my basket and thanked (insert Deity here) for my good luck.

Being a Costco whore, I already had a giant bag of Nestle semi-sweet chocolate chips at home. I like using chocolate chips with the strawberries as they melt easier and don't clump. After Nugget, I hit Michael's for some lovely gift bags, tissue and gold candy cups. From start to finish (thank you card's included) our gifts came to about $5 per person. That's with each person getting 5 giant strawberries each that would have easily cost you $5 per berries at a gourmet chocolate store.

The bags went out today and I'm already getting rave reviews and lavishing praise through e-mail thank you's from the teachers. Interested in making some as a "thank you?" Here's how I did it:

Step 1: Place a small pot of water on the stove and heat to medium-high (6 on an electric stove.) Place a heat-safe bowl over the pot of water. This creates the coveted "double boiler" that you need to "temper" chocolate.

Step 2: Add your chocolate chips (1 cup per 15 berries) and 1/4 cup heavy cream. If you like, I also add a pinch of salt and a pinch of instant coffee. This just makes the chocolate taste a little richer. STIR!

Make sure your berries are washed and DRIED! Wet berries will clump your chocolate!

I lined simple cookie sheets with both wax and baking paper. Both did a great job of keeping the berries from sticking while cooling.

Step 3: When the chocolate is 100% melted and shiny, you're ready to start grabbing berries and dipping!

If the chocolate doesn't stick right away. Give it another minute of stirring, it may not be hot enough.

You can see my 1 giant berry in the back left where it's a little clumpy. My chocolate wasn't hot enough there.

You can either leave them plane chocolate, or drizzle some melted white chocolate over them about 1hr after the dark has cooled a little. I like the look of both together. Like a little tux! Place the berries in the fridge 1hour before bagging and handing out. This will ensure a nice hard coating. Make sure they're eaten ASAP, or kept in the fridge, otherwise the berries may turn mushy.

Sex and the Sillies (2)

2010-05-31T04:33:00.000-07:00

Saturday night found me not in my pajamas at 6PM watching Deadliest Warrior, nor was I doing homework, cooking for my family or indulging in any of my other typical evening activities. Nope, I was all glammed up, with seven wonderful women, drinking a “Cape Cod” and chatting it up before seeing Sex and the City 2. Not to be a total bragger, but it was a perfect evening.

One of my best friends had e-mailed me Monday asking if I was planning on seeing SATC2 (Sex and the City 2). I used to love the TV show, but didn’t love the last movie. I knew many of my girlfriends were big fans however, so despite the lackluster movie trailers I had made a mental note to make it a girl’s night when it came out. I guess the release had snuck up on me because it came quicker than I expected. Shockingly many of my “girls” were free that Saturday night and were all game for dressing up and hitting the town. Ok, the VERY small, un-glam town of Davis, but that’s still better than hitting the couch, right?

My sister-in-law ditched her hubby for the weekend and my wonderful husband chauffeured the two of us to the beautiful Seasons bar, right across the street from the movie theater. Walking into that bar to see my beautiful friends dripping in jewelry, fresh pedicures gleaming in strappy heals, wide arms and even wider smiles was better than any fashionista scene from the movie. I felt like Carrie Bradshaw meeting HER girls for fancy cocktails before a red carpet event. Cameras flew, glasses clinked and the time went WAY too fast.

It’s a good thing we had a few drinks before the movie because it was about as good as I’d expected. Actually, the first half had me convinced that maybe I’d be in for a surprise, but the last half lived up to my lowest clichéd expectation. Ugh is all I can say. Hearing my full row of girls giggle, gasp, howl and moan made the evening a one in a million. It didn’t matter what was going on with Carrie and her friends, we were the one’s bringing style and woman power to Davis that night.

Wake Up Call

2010-05-28T07:54:00.000-07:00

I’d like to thank BP oil for making me take a closer look at my family’s habits. My shock and disgust at the rape of our environment has woken me up to taking an even firmer stance for my family’s health and our children’s future.

I’ve always been a big supporter of buying local, fresh and organic. My family has been buying organic only milk and local produce for about 13 years now. My thoughts changed on factory farmed meats and eggs about 10 years ago and I started going out of my way to find organic, free range, hormone & antibiotic free meats as well as line caught (not farmed) fish. There’s always room for improvement however.

Like all struggling families I’ve been guilty of buying something simply because it’s cheap, turning a blind eye to how it was produced, where it came from (how far away?) and what was in it. I don’t blame those who need to keep a close watch on their bottom dollar. I totally understand. For my family personally the savings in money just isn’t worth the risk to our health and doesn’t hold with our moral values.

So, what can we improve upon?

1) Eating out. I LOVE LOVE LOVE junk food. I keep away from it 99% of the time, but it is my true love. When we do eat out, it’s a rare enough occasion that I tend to give little thought to organic, local, preservatives, etc… with the restaurants we choose. I plan on changing that habit. I found this website, Ecovian that has listings of restaurants that specialize in local, green and organic foods. Luckily, Davis has quite a few, so I really have no excuse.

2) Those darn, thin, plastic produce bags! You know the ones, they rip like crazy, blow around, won’t stay in your trash (or recycling can) and trap water from your produce like crazy. Considering they’re horrible for the environment, don’t get re-used in our house, don’t keep produce well and are a petroleum product, they need to go. I have no idea why it took me so long to figure out they’re evil, but I did. I plan on buying some organic cotton drawstring sacks off Etsy as soon as we get paid on Monday.

3) Get to my Farmers Market and Co-op more often. I confess, I don’t go nearly as often as I should. “It’s too expensive!" I tell myself as my family heads to Subway for lunch instead. No more. It’s now a priority of mine to not only support the local economy more, but to skip the “conventional” foods for healthier substitutes that consumed less gas to get to my fridge. (Here's a great site that talks about which foods you should ALWAYS buy organic when possible.)

4) Eat less meat. I read recently in an article from Time.com that giving up beef saves more carbon emissions than trading in your conventional car for an electric one. WOW! Nuff said!

Years ago we quit buying little bottles of water and switched to a Brita pitcher (talk about saving money AND the planet!!!) Then we switched our nasty plastic Tupperware for glass. I figure these small changes are another step in taking better care of ourselves, and our world; but you won’t see me buying a hemp bikini anytime soon!

Free/Cheap Summer Ideas

2010-05-26T02:51:00.000-07:00

Greetings Moms! I thought I'd share some of my favorite free/cheap summer ideas for kids of all ages.

(little ones)

-Cook up a batch of homemade play dough together, then play! I like to make 3 batches, one for each primary color then let the kids mix them to see what they get. Adding colored sand also mixes things up a bit. You can also add some vanilla extract or other safe scent. It may just seem like play, but you’re helping their brains grow!

-Break out the art supplies. When my son was very young (around 3) he loved stripping down naked and finger-painting on an easel in our backyard. Hours of fun for free! There are many good websites with home-made paint recipes if you’d rather save the bucks and make your own. A bucket of sidewalk chalk from the Dollar Tree can = a full day of fun.

-Head to the library. All local libraries have weekly “story time” for kids. Get a card, stay for the story and bring home some books for your own story time!

-Make felt people. Another of my son’s favorite things to do when he was little was to play with a home-made felt board. ANYONE can make this! Just glue felt to a large canvas board (from Wal Mart, Michaels or another craft store.) Then you can make your own felt people, animals, family, whatever! I would just draw them on felt with a sharpie and cut them out. If you’re not crafty, you can buy pre-made shapes super cheap at craft stores.

-Take a Walk. Pack a snack, blanket, magnifying glass and take a walk. Even just in your own backyard. Point out nature and have your kids guess what it is. We like gathering sticks, leaves, seeds and other things to make a “fairy house” to leave for the woodland creatures when we do this. Nature is a great teacher.

-Involve the Pets. If you have a dog, fish, cat, bird or other pet, you could have a pet day! Make a special treat just for your pet, wash and clean their cage, bedding, bed, what have you. Give them a bath (if you have a dog) and involve the kids! It’s great to give your pet some extra TLC and a fun family activity. If it’s a hot day, your dog will thank you for the extra cool-off in the tub! (if doing this outside, make sure you check the hose water temperature before bathing your dog! Summer hose water can burn your pet.)

-Forget the Kiddie Pool. My son never liked those shallow little blow-up pools. Instead he loved it when I would drag out his big plastic toy tub and fill it up to his chest. (Of course, never leave kids of any age un-attended in any kind of water!)

-Build a Fort. Remember when you were a kid and you would pile blankets and pillows up to make a big fort? How about making one OVER the kid’s bed? You could even hang some glow in the dark stars up and camp… inside!

(older kids)

-Cook it up. I love planning, shopping and cooking with man cub. I learned quickly that the more involved he was with what we were eating, the better he would eat it. You can even expand this into creating a family food garden if you enjoy that kind of thing.

-Reminisce. Kids love looking at old pictures, especially of when you were their age. Break out the albums and let the tales roll. The same goes for old home videos.

-Night Walk. Nature is very different at night than in the day. Bring a flashlight, pack a snack and blanket and take a little walk at night. It's a great time to look for owls and other nocturnal creatures, then you can lay on the blanket and stargaze.

-Community Pool. It ain’t what it used to be! Many community pools these days have waterslides, huge fountains and plenty of fun to keep you both busy for hours. Come early to avoid the heat and crowds.

-Community Classes. When kids aren’t in school they can miss the regular schedule of having something planned every day. Your local parks and recreation department will offer a slew of activities at super affordable prices. Summer is a great time to try something new. Dance, art, sports, music, etc… Just be sure to register early!

-Juice Pops. I think making your own popsicles should be mandatory for summer. My favorite way is also the most simple. Put your favorite fruit & juice in the blender (like strawberries with a little orange juice.) Then pour into ice cube trays. Cover with foil and poke a stick, plastic spoon, etc… in through the center of each one. Let freeze and voila! Your own healthy little treat! The perfect size for kids (and shhhhh a serving of fruit.)

I hope these help give you some ideas. Of course, there are TONS of great ideas available at your local library. The library was a wonderful resource for me when man cub was little and I’d run out of ideas. Now if only the sun would come out we could get this summer rolling!

Family as Lab Rats

2010-05-24T02:00:00.000-07:00

I read a very interesting article on the front page of Sunday’s Bee. Maybe you saw it too? “Family life goes under microscope.” The article discussed a study being done by social scientists at UCLA. A few families were filmed for three years in order to better study the dynamics of a family. After sifting through 1,540 hours of videotape they came to some conclusions about contemporary (American) families. Here are some interesting statistics learned from the study.

-Mother’s still spend 27% of their time on housework, doing more than other family members, (regardless of employment outside the home.) Father’s spend 18% of their time on housework, children 3%, (and giving allowance made no difference on the amount of time.)

-Husbands and wives were alone in the house together 10% of the (waking) time.

-The entire family was gathered in the same room 14% of the time.

-Mothers spent 19% of their time socializing with family members, or talking on the phone and only 11% with “other” social activities (like free time with friends. ) Father’s spent 20% chatting with family or on the phone and a whopping 23% on “leisure” activities.

-Mother’s spent 34% of their time alone with the children, Fathers spent 25% alone with the children.

-When alone with the children Fathers were much more likely to be engaged in a play activity, (playing in the backyard), while mother’s were more likely to watch TV with their children.

The most surprising find in my opinion was how people aren’t using their outside “green” space. One family in the study had a 17,000 square foot backyard with a swimming pool and trampoline, but didn’t use it once during the study. The scientists pointed out that the yard is the most stress-free place in the house, yet it was common for it to also be the most under-utilized family space.

Although you must keep in mind this was a very small “snapshot” of only a few families, I do think it’s pretty reflective and accurate about the differences between male and female roles, and how they continue to evolve. Too bad a similar study wasn’t done in the 50’s so you could compare numbers to that of the more recent study. I’m pretty positive we’d see more of a swing to 50/50 these days. What do you think? Anything surprising?

(Family life goes under microscope - by: Benedict Carey, New York Times)

Summer Plans?

2010-05-22T01:07:00.000-07:00

With the rain and cool evenings you wouldn’t think that summer’s knocking on our door, but it is! Man cub’s officially finished with the 10^th grade in just two more weeks. –wow- that seems really hard to believe.

Our summer plans were going to involve his first work experience thanks to the State of CA Workability program, but also thanks to budget cuts so deep you could drive Schwarzenegger’s Hummer through it, his program has been put off till next year. It’s important to me that a bright 16 year old get his first taste of employment over the summer, but I don’t think he’s quite ready to be tossed into a regular job setting yet. That’s what the Workability program was supposed to provide, extra support and transitioning into a very small job. Being the kind of “never say never” mom that I am however, I’m planning on helping man cub find a small volunteer job.

While helping my guy find something fun and rewarding to fill some of his time with, I’ll also be taking my first (shudder) Math class. I knew I couldn’t dodge Math forever, but I put it off way too long. I’m also fortunate enough to have a well paying teaching assistant position for the summer and fall, so that will take up some time as well. Hopefully what I make as a TA will cover the cost of my gas as I have to drive out to Sacramento Monday through Thursday just for my Math class. A double whammy, three hours of Math and it’s not even in my town! I hope the “Great White” makes it through the summer ok (my 17year old truck.)

My grandparents will be making their annual trek down from Brookings Oregon to spend a few weeks in town. Luckily for my husband, they’re allergic to dogs and have to stay with my aunt, rather than cram into our dollhouse sized abode. Its been two years since we’ve seen them, an unexpected surgery kept them away last year and furloughs kept us from taking an 8hour trip anywhere. As I was more or less raised by my grandparents, I’m really looking forward to seeing them again. My “Nana” is the queen of thrift shopping and constantly laments how Brookings is lacking. I’m going to take her to every hotspot in Sacramento, a vice I can still afford. My aunt always has a wonderful family pool party at her house during the summer, so that’s another event to anticipate.

Next month, June 6^th I’ll be doing the Nike Women’s 5K in downtown Sacramento with some girlfriends. I even hit Dollar Tree and made us all matching hats! I’m really looking forward to that. Man cub will also be spending a week with his cousin in San Francisco as soon as his school lets out. I’m not so much looking forward to that, but will enjoy the “alone time” with my husband.

I’m sure it will all go by much too quickly in a haze of Sacramento heat waves. How about you? What are your summer plans?

You can also find TeeterTotter on Facebook!

Impulse Control

2010-05-20T06:38:00.000-07:00

I don’t know about you, but this economy has me thinking “outside the box” at nearly every financial decision I make, especially impulse buys. Things I would normally just toss when they broke, I now fix (or donate). Things that used to just “find” their way into my shopping cart, I now stop and ask myself if I really need it. When doing my shopping I stop and think about where I shop and how that impacts my community. If I shop in my town, then we get the tax dollars! Rather than tell myself I NEED that cute new canary yellow Kate Spade bag, I think of other ways I can fill that need.

One thing I do a lot of is thrift shop. There’s nothing wrong with getting things second hand and it’s a great way to get deals! Garage sales, or course, is another good way to find “treasures,” but I personally have a hard time coordinating my life around getting up that early, (and the cost of gas usually puts me off driving all over town looking for signs.) Another great way to save (and make) some bucks is to look on-line. I’ve gotten many great deals on eBay over the years. You have to be a smart shopping though and really know your prices, otherwise you could be paying higher than new! Most often than not it’s a great way to find a rare find and do some recycling in the process.

My #1 spot to fill that “must have” urge is on Etsy. I love supporting struggling artists and you can really find one-of-a-kind unique items there that you’ll never see anywhere else. You buy directly from the maker, so you’re also saving cash by cutting out the middle-man. I think I’ll head on over and check out some of their handmade bags, rather than blow my “fun money” for the year on something designer!

How about you? Do you like to refurbish, treasure hunt, thrift shop or shop on-line? Are you more careful now than you used to be?

The bag in the photo is from Etsy designer Sinem Inugur Handmade Bags.

Lean Green Machine

2010-05-18T03:50:00.000-07:00

My quest for health and fitness is going really well. Even though I’m at the end-crunch of the semester and finals, (I really should be working on a seven page essay rather than blogging right now!) I’m still keeping up with my healthy eating and running every day.

My biggest accomplishment over the last two weeks is that I can now finish the .75mile loop around our neighborhood without stopping. I can run it the whole way! No shin splints, heart attacks or side cramps. Just me and the Black Eyed Peas doing the loop. Yesterday I even forced myself out in the damp drizzle! YAY! I’m hoping that by the time the Nike Women’s Fitness 5K rolls around next month I’ll be able to do the whole 3.1 mile at a slow jog without walking. We’ll see!

I’m still eating healthy, being careful, though I did indulge in Taco Bell last night. It wasn’t the typical scarf fest however; I was careful about the calories and enjoyed every bite. Nothing with the word “supreme” or covered in plastic cheese crossed my lips.

I’ve also been enjoying Naked Juice’s “Green Machine Superfood Smoothie” (pictured.) I know, it looks like swamp slime. Actually it tastes just like strawberry juice to me. My aunt forced me to taste some at her place, against my better judgment, and I was shocked to find that it actually tasted good! I’m not great about eating fruit, so this is a good way to get my daily quota. I also break out my juicer and get my home-made juice on.

For now, things seem to be going well. I’m balancing school with mothering (for the moment.) My husband and I have also been able to have some date night time every Friday while man cub's with friends. A rare treat indeed!

I’m not losing as much weight as I’d like, nor running as fast as far as I’d like, but I’m working on being patient and understanding with myself. So far, I’m doing well in that department as well! Now I just need to think of a non-food treat for myself if I make my goal of running the whole 5K. A new purse perhaps?

Mama Pride

2010-05-14T02:52:00.000-07:00

If you would have told me two years ago that I’d just be finishing up my first full time semester in twenty years, I’d have given you the card of a good shrink I know. Yet here I am, doing just that. Next week marks the end of a long few months, and I’ve loved every minute of it.

My grandmother asked me on the phone yesterday how I manage to juggle being in school full time with a teenager, (who all of us with teens know is quite similar to having a toddler!) I told her that school wasn’t one more thing added to the pile, or one more thing draining me, (like that stack of dishes in the sink), it’s my passion. It’s something I’m doing just for me, for MY future, and that gives me energy. I told her that if I wasn’t able to leave the house and go to school and focus on my own needs like that, it would have been a very bad year for man cub and I. I would have spent the spring trying to “fix” all of his problems, struggles and issues FOR him, and that would have helped no one. Instead I only had time to help where and when he really needed me, not take over his life for him, a good thing indeed for the both of us.

In life it’s important to take a moment, step back and be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. I have a sixteen year old man cub who’s growing into an interesting young man, I’m more than halfway to transferring to UC Davis’s psychology department, I won the psychology scholar award at my school this year and was hand-picked to be a paid psychology teaching assistant for the summer and fall. I’m eating very healthy, running every night, breathing every day and trying to take good care of myself. My family is still doing the “anti-stress” workshops on our patio every Saturday and my husband and I have never been happier with each other. Ok, my dogs are still poo-heads, but I think I have a lot to be proud of!

Busy mothers have a tendency, like good soldiers, to always be ready to attack the next problem, the next issue, help others and keep dinner warm. We forget to pause, pat ourselves on the back and savor our accomplishments. So this is me telling you to stop, take the weekend, and savor. Enjoy your accomplishments, big and small. Congratulate yourself on being a kick-butt hard-working Mama!

Unexpected Pleasures

2010-05-12T04:33:00.000-07:00

I recently read a wonderful article about taking advantage of precious moments in life when you have surprise time to yourself. It was written by a busy mom who used to be annoyed when friends ran late to meet her, she got stuck in long lines, or had other unexpected delays that would keep her from going down her check list. I really related to this woman! Like her I also am learning that these aren’t really delay’s at all, but precious gifts. A long line at the post office means you can listen to that Podcast on your i-whatever and steal a few moments. Perhaps you may even stand on one leg and do some subtle stretching and belly-breathing?

Though still a novice at making time for myself, I’m finding ways to do just that. This is the first year I’ve had a little garden going. Watering and tending it isn’t a chore, it’s time to myself, alone with my thoughts. Getting to watch it grow is just an added mental health (and nutritional!) bonus.

Last night I stole such a moment. We got home very late from a meeting and Man Cub was bushed. My husband was already in full withdrawal from being away from the computer and World of Warcraft for so long, and all I wanted to do was take a shower and crawl into bed; however, that’s not what I did. Instead I changed into my running gear (and a bright orange t-shirt for safety), loaded up a new “running playlist” onto my iPhone and went for a quick run around my neighborhood. It was blissful! I was alone, gazing at the stars, enjoying music that man-cub hates and doing something good for myself. It for sure felt like precious stolen time.

Now days I bring a book when I’m meeting a friend and enjoy the time spend “waiting.” If lunch plans I was looking forward to falls through, then I take my journal and myself out to lunch instead! I realize some of these are impossible to savor until your children are in school. But even if you have little ones, or work full-time out of the home, I’m confident there are tiny ways you can eek out a few moments to do something just for YOU. And no, Farmville doesn’t count.

Hairy Situation

2010-05-07T01:05:00.000-07:00

At the tender age of 2, I received my first home perm. Futzing with my hair was a family pastime. I remember parades of animal barrettes, mountains of pink “goop” slopped on my hair while pink foam rollers were tightened to their breaking point (yes, some really broke), while I was expected to sleep on them. “She looks just like Shirley Temple!” My grandmother’s friends would gush. Apparently this was her plan all along. Home perms led to salon perms led to crimp irons, hot rollers, hydrogen peroxide, “Sun-In” (remember that foul smelling swill?)… my point is, I don’t think it’s my fault that as an adult I can’t leave my hair alone.

I’ve been pondering a serious cut for about a month now. Not a trim, or a snip, but a mow. Summer’s coming and as any of my friends and family will tell you, I HATE being hot! I’m also not a big fan of hair in my face, spending time to not make it go in my face, or the headache you get when using clips, combs or rubber bands. I also have incredibly thin, fine, straight hair. This means if it ever grows past my shoulder I look like a cartoon witch. “Stringy headed” is what my grandma used to endearingly term it. Aka, not good. This leaves me two style to play with… bobs and short.

The only reason I don’t have super short hair ALL the time is because I love my husband enough to indulge him. Most men love long hair (am I right ladies?) and my husband’s no exception. Don’t get me wrong, I’d also love Raphaellian, Rapunzel-like tresses, but my genes just won’t cooperate and I’ve sworn off all perms! “Work with what you’ve got” is my motto of choice.

So yesterday I took a deep breath and opted to be sheered like a sheep. I’m so glad I did! I miss short hair and loves how it looks. Of course, being a woman (and hard to satisfy) I’ll love it more when my face is a bit thinner and it grows out just a tad. I’ve gotten tons of compliments from my sweet friends, and even my husband said “it’s cute.” Man cub hates it, but he always hates it when I change my hair. He’ll get used to it.

How about you? Any plans for your hair? Are you the opposite of me and wedded to one style till the end of your days?

Women's Festival

2010-05-05T08:22:00.000-07:00

I always work harder at things if I have a goal. But then again, who doesn’t. Fitness is no exception. I decided today that to keep me on-track I wanted to sign up for a 5K. I’ve walked many in the past; in fact, the American River 5K is how I met one of my very good SacMomsClub friends! It’s always wonderful to help out a charity, AND yourself in one event.

I also notice that my family seems to be a big more supportive and understanding about me ditching them to exercise when I have an actual “event” that I’m “training” for. Well, training my be a strong word, but its how I like to think of it.

I found a great event today that’s coming up in only a short month, but still worth sharing. The Fleet Feet Sports Women’s Fitness Festival, June 6th at the Sacramento Capitol. Proceeds go directly to WEAVE and it’s only $33 per walk/runner. It looks like a wonderful event, and one I’m really looking forward to participating in.

I sent out word to all my girlfriends, and I’m hoping to have some company as I “wog” (part walk/part jog) my way around the Capitol for a good cause. It should be a great day to celebrate health and being a Sacramento woman!

I HATE WAITING!

2010-05-03T04:41:00.000-07:00

“Its been three days already, so why aren’t I thin?” That’s the problem whenever I eat healthy, exercise and do everything I should… it’s just so… SLOW! I’m not a patient person and I HATE WAITING! It’s not the hard work, the good healthy foods or self-deprivation that really gets to me; it’s the w-a-i-t-i-n-g!

My husband has high blood pressure and high cholesterol and we both want him to not have to take medication for the cholesterol. I don’t (yet), but want to lose weight and be more fit, (you’ve heard this song before, right?) Well, together I think we can do it! We spent the weekend exercising and stocking our house with healthy foods that we love and will actually eat. I even skipped on using the car yesterday and took my bike grocery shopping. In fact, I haven’t used my car in two days!

So, what are the results? I’m hungry, tired, sore and want Taco Bell. I looked in the mirror this morning and yelled, “WHY AREN’T YOU THIN YET!” When you work that hard, it just feels like I should be able to see it already. Silly, I know. “Good things come to those who wait…” Yadda, yadda, yadda. I get that, I’ve heard it, I understand. I know change takes time and in the end I’ll be a better, healthier, happier me (with a much longer life span), but right now I just want to dive into a swimming pool full of fake, orange nacho cheese sauce and float around on a raft made of chips.

-sigh- I’ve got to pull it together! I have a home-made vegetarian goat cheese pizza with my name on it in the fridge. Although not quite Taco Bell, it’s much better for me and still tasty! I also have a mini-peppermint patty just waiting to be my mid-afternoon treat. “I think I can, I think I can!” Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some yogurt needing some attention.

Must Have "apps" for Special Needs Families

2010-04-30T08:44:00.000-07:00

I’ve always considered “smart devices” like PDA’s and iPhones to be a great tool for those with special needs. As the technology improves, so do the possibilities. It can be overwhelming and daunting to try and find the best tool with so many on the market, so I took it upon myself to do a little digging for you.

The list I compiled includes the best apps for the iPhone, iPod touch and the new iPad if you have special needs, or a child with special need. I tried to be as inclusive as possible with my search, as well as only represent the “best of the best.”

I was sad to see that so many of the top apps had a price tag to match. I’m sure we all know just how inexpensive it is to raise a special needs child and how health insurance covers everything all the time (I know, I thought it was funny too!) So to then have to pay so much for an app that might make your life a little easier is a pretty big insult. I didn’t let price dictate the inclusion on the list however, I leave that up to the consumer.

Hope you find it helpful! Feel free to share the list with others who might be able to use it.

Speak It! (Text to speech) 1.99
From: Future Apps Inc
4 voices come with it.
4 ½ out of 5 iTunes Review
iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

Time Timer (visual timer) 4.99
From: Time Timer LLC
3 operating modes. Can also have sound and vibration (iPhone only) on or off
4 ½ out of 5 iTunes Reviews
iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

iThoughts (Mind Maping) 7.99
From: CMS
Great visual organization of thoughts, relationships, connections, multi-line topics and more.
4 out of 5
iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

Doodle Jump (game) 0.99
From: Lima Sky
A fun game for hand eye coordination. Non violent and each game doesn’t take long. Would be a good non-food reward/motivator for kids who are old enough to play. You control the cute little alien doodle by tipping your iPhone
4 ½ out of 5
iPhone

Bubble Wrap (game) free!
From: Orsome
Sometimes you just can’t have the real thing! This is actually a game where you “pop” the bubble wrap as fast as you can to get a high score. It obviously doesn’t have the same feel as real bubble wrap, but it does have the same look and sound. Would be another great non-food motivational tool. If you want a non-game version (where you just pop the bubbles), try “Bubble Snap.”
4 ½ out of 5
iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

Koi Pond (relaxation) 0.99
From: The Blimp Pilots
A beautiful relaxation tool. A little koi pond that you can run your ringers across to create ripples. You can change the fish, color, sounds, add rain and many other soothing options.
4 ½ out of 5
iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

Ambiance (relaxation) 0.99
From: Urban Apps
Think iTunes for soothing (and some not-so-soothing) sounds. You pick and choose your own sounds that you like then you can create playlists of them just like songs in iTunes. From a metal lighter lighting to rain on cement pavers there are over 800 sounds to choose from. You can also just play one sound on a loop track if you like.
4 out of 5
iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

iPrompts (communication/education) 49.99
From: HandHold Addaptive LLC
Picture based prompting tool. Can be used as a to do list (includes a “first x, then y” set up), sequencer, schedules, picking your rewards (would you like x or y?), visual timer and communication tool.
4 out of 5
iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

Track 3 - Diabetes Planner & Carb Counter 5.99
From: Coheso Inc.
Helps map glucose levels, log nutrition, exercise, insulin, medication, etc… Holds over 80,000 foods (including many restaurants) for easy input.
4 ½ out of 5
iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

My Medical (medical) 1.99
From: Steven Chaitoff
Keep track of personal medical information for everyone in your family in 1 easy place. Track surgeries, medication, lab reports, treatments, hospital and office visits, diagnosis, vaccinations and more.
4 out of 5
iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

HomeRoutines (to-do list) 4.99
From: Wunderbear Software Ltd.
Create unlimited lists for specific days, then give yourself a “gold star” when complete! Great way for older kids to keep track of their daily tasks. Even has a 15min timer to help keep you focused (optional.)
4 ½ out of 5
iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

Feels Like the Weekend French Toast

2010-04-30T01:15:00.000-07:00

The rain finally stopped and I’m feeling it’s time to share another recipe. I made these for man cub this morning. Once in a while I like taking the time to make something with a brunch feel to it, even though it’s a weekday. Little unexpected surprises are what life’s all about and I enjoy being able to do that for my family sometimes. I like to call these: Feels Like the Weekend – French Toast. Fast (takes about 10min to make from fridge to plate), healthy and tasty! It’s also very easy to substitute things in and out as you like. Hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

-Makes 6 slices of French Toast-

You’ll Need:

4 eggs

6 slices of bread (whatever you have on hand is fine!)

½ cup of frozen blueberries (I like the big bag of Organic ones at Costco)

1tsp. Butter/margarine or butter spray (like Butter Pam)

1/3 cup milk, ½ & ½, soy milk, or even vanilla coffee creamer!

1 pinch of each – nutmeg, cinnamon, clove (or a dash or allspice)

Tools:

Medium size frying pan

Shallow bowl

Spatula

Fork or whisk

Microwave

Stove

Microwave safe cup (like a coffee mug)

-Crack the eggs into your shallow bowl while you bring the skillet to a medium heat on the stove. Add to the eggs your milk (or milk substitute) & spices.

-Whisk with a fork till blended (about 1min is fine.)

-Toss the butter into your hot pan. When melted, dip 1 slice of bread front and back into the egg batter, then place into the pan. 2 pieces at a time should fit into a medium pan.

-Cook about 2min (till brown), then flip!

-After you have the first batch cooking, place the frozen blueberries in a small microwave safe cup and zap for 2min.

To plate: Top 2 pieces of French Toast with the warm blueberries. Put out syrup or powdered sugar on the table if you like.

Help Our Schools (again)

2010-04-27T06:57:00.000-07:00

Last year our town, like many all across the state, was in a panic about drastic education cuts. E-mails were sent out daily, articles ran in the paper, kids sold t-shirts, fundraiser after fundraiser was held and many parents came to the rescue. Wallets open, pens at the ready and checkbooks blazing. Now we’re at “code red” again.

Just when does hitting up parents year after year to fund a “free-public” education become a signal that maybe there’s a flaw in the system? When you have parents who are struggling to put food on the table due to furloughs, dealing with the chronic stress the economy has brought on them and possibly even losing their jobs, homes… how can they be expected to save something as massive as the public school system? And more importantly, should they? What good will the parents bailing out such a flawed system do long-term? It’s like buying a new lawn gnome for a burning house.

I have many friends who are teachers and my heart bleeds for them and what they have to go through. Year after year their performance is based on a bunch of numbers that really mean nothing. Year after year they have to worry about job security, benefits, class size and other issues that are huge stressors. How did we as a state get to the point where even the best teachers get told “Good job! Here’s your pink slip, maybe we can save you though. Check again in a few weeks.” Since when did teaching become a similar occupation to that of the Dread Pirate Roberts from the Princess Bride? “Good job, I’ll most likely kill you in the morning!”

How are we to raise the next generation of smart, independent, self-sufficient, hard working adults when we can’t even educate them? Learning disabilities are skyrocketing and the number of children who require an Individualized Education Plan has risen drastically over the last few years. How can we provide the best education for these kids? What can be done?

I don’t think the answer lies in endless e-mails begging parents to, “Dig deep and do your part. Can’t you spare $1 a day per student? Just $365?!” No actually, I can’t, and I don’t know many families who can right now. No, the answer isn’t in getting more money off families, laying off exceptional teachers, cutting classes and services, raising tuition in colleges, stuffing more kids in tiny classrooms… none of these horrible situations are the answer. The answer is to re-structure our education system from the ground up! Make education a priority for the state of CA. Actually INVEST in the future of our children, in keeping good teachers, and looking towards the future of this state, our future! Economic and political reform can’t come soon enough. I just hope when it does come, it won’t be too late for the kids in the public school system.

Family Stress Workshop

2010-04-24T02:33:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago my husband came home with a flyer from his employer. They were hosting a free “Family Stress Workshop” for all the staff. My husband thought it might be good for the three of us to enroll. HECK YES! I couldn’t sign up fast enough.

That workshop was supposed to be today. I found out yesterday it had been cancelled due to a lack of enrollment. WHAT!? How could everyone not see what a great opportunity/idea that was? How could it not have had a wait list? At first I was crushed. Dreams of spending at least one day really communicating with my teen and learning new tools went out the window. After a few moments however, I sucked it up. I did what I always do in the face of disappointment. “I can fix this and STILL give us a great experience,” I told myself.

What I was looking forward to most from this workshop was having someone else lead it. I figured however that if the information wasn’t coming from me, that it was just my opinion I was inflicting on my family, it would be almost as good as a different workshop leader. I hopped on-line (what did I ever do before the internet!) and found some amazing websites on stress. My favorite was Helpguide.org. I printed out every article that looked helpful and applicable to our family. “Quick Stress Relief Tips, How Important is Sleep? Teens and Stress…” Then I created a few “worksheets” for us.

My husband came home very impressed with how I picked up the ball, but very used to my sense of determination by now. We decided 1 article per-family member to read and share out loud and 2 short worksheets would be good. We don’t want to overwhelm man cub or for the message to get lost on him. We also decided it’s very important not to do this in our house. We both felt it would be much more effective if we did it someplace outside and away from home so it did feel like more of a retreat.

This morning I got up and even made each of us a “workshop” binder. I was careful to make man cub’s binder in no way resemble any of his school binders. Each has the person’s selected article, two worksheets and a large pad of paper. I’m hoping this is something we can do every other week or so to help build our family communication. I’ll let you know how it goes. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Must have apps for special needs families

2010-04-23T02:24:00.000-07:00

The list I compiled includes the best apps for the iPhone, iPod touch and the new iPad if you have special needs, or a child with special needs. I tried to be as inclusive as possible with my search, as well as only represent the “best of the best.”

I was sad to see that so many of the top apps had a price tag to match. I’m sure we all know just how inexpensive it is to raise a special needs child and how health insurance covers everything all the time (I know, I thought it was funny too!) So to then have to pay so much for an app that might make your life a little easier is a pretty big insult. I didn’t let price dictate the inclusion on the list however, I leave that up to the consumer.

Hope you find it helpful! Feel free to share the list with others who might be able to use it.

Speak It! (Text to speech)

$1.99

From: Future Apps Inc

You type it and it speaks for you. 4 voices come with it, but you can purchase and add more.

4 ½ out of 5 iTunes Review

iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

Time Timer (visual timer)

4.99

From: Time Timer LLC

A concept of time passing is hard for many differently abled people. This is a visual aide that allows you to see the passage of time. It has 3 operating modes. Can also have sound and vibration (iPhone only) on or off

4 ½ out of 5 iTunes Reviews

iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

iThoughts (Mind Maping)

7.99

From: CMS

Great visual organization of thoughts, relationships, connections, multi-line topics and more.

4 out of 5

iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

Doodle Jump (game)

0.99

From: Lima Sky

A fun game for hand eye coordination. Non violent and each game doesn’t take long. Would be a good non-food reward/motivator for kids who are old enough to play. You control the cute little alien doodle by tipping your iPhone

4 ½ out of 5

iPhone

Bubble Wrap (game)

free!

From: Orsome

Sometimes you just can’t have the real thing! This is actually a game where you “pop” the bubble wrap as fast as you can to get a high score. It obviously doesn’t have the same feel as real bubble wrap, but it does have the same look and sound. Would be another great non-food motivational tool. If you want a non-game version (where you just pop the bubbles), try “Bubble Snap.”

4 ½ out of 5

iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

Koi Pond (relaxation)

0.99

From: The Blimp Pilots

A beautiful relaxation tool. A little koi pond that you can run your ringers across to create ripples. You can change the fish, color, sounds, add rain and many other soothing options.

4 ½ out of 5

iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

Ambiance (relaxation)

0.99

From: Urban Apps

Think iTunes for soothing (and some not-so-soothing) sounds. You pick and choose your own sounds that you like then you can create playlists of them just like songs in iTunes. From a metal lighter lighting to rain on cement pavers there are over 800 sounds to choose from. You can also just play one sound on a loop track if you like.

4 out of 5

iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

iPrompts (communication/education)

49.99

From: HandHold Addaptive LLC

Picture based prompting tool. Can be used as a to do list (includes a “first x, then y” set up), sequencer, schedules, picking your rewards (would you like x or y?), visual timer and communication tool.

4 out of 5

iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

Track 3 - Diabetes Planner & Carb Counter (health)

5.99

From: Coheso Inc.

Helps map glucose levels, log nutrition, exercise, insulin, medication, etc… Holds over 80,000 foods (including many restaurants) for easy input.

4 ½ out of 5

iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

My Medical (medical)

1.99

From: Steven Chaitoff

Keep track of personal medical information for everyone in your family in 1 easy place. Track surgeries, medication, lab reports, treatments, hospital and office visits, diagnosis, vaccinations and more.

4 out of 5

iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

HomeRoutines (to-do list)

4.99

From: Wunderbear Software Ltd.

Create unlimited lists for specific days, then give yourself a “gold star” when complete! Great way for older kids to keep track of their daily tasks. Even has a 15min timer to help keep you focused (optional.)

4 ½ out of 5

iPhone iPod Touch or iPad

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He Survived!

2010-04-20T01:50:00.000-07:00

Yes, my son survived his week of fending for himself (food wise.) I mentioned how over spring break my son had $50 (his number) to feed himself for the week and was responsible for all his own meals. Well, it actually went really well.

He learned that $50 wasn’t enough money, and that he should have had a little more variety and substance to some of his choices. He said he didn’t feel “full” enough most of the time. I learned that family dinners are still really important to me. I missed that sit-down connect time, just the three of us (and two dogs waiting for anything to fall on the floor.)

I did however love the taste of freedom it gave me. I didn’t feel like I HAD to cook for him, or worry about his meals. I felt like I could feed him and share my food if I wanted to. One morning I surprised him with a big breakfast, the kind I usually make him almost daily. He was coming down with a cold and I wanted to make sure he at least ate one solid meal that day. He was grateful like I’ve never seen him be. I think it gave him a new appreciation for when I do cook and how much time and money good meals really involve.

I’m sure this will be an experiment we repeat over the summer. I’m in no hurry to go back to being his short-order cook anytime soon, but family dinners will always be on the menu.

Confession

2010-04-17T02:45:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. Every Saturday morning rather than strap on my running shoes, or hitting the lovely farmers market, I lie in bed and watch the Real Housewives on my laptop. It is one of the highlights of my week. Man cub’s still asleep, hubby’s on the computer and I get to spend a precious hour with women I hate. Seriously! How can I enjoy a show that I find every cast member so despicable? Well, no one’s perfect!

I think I enjoy the show because it reminds me how lucky I am. Not because I’m rich like them (far from it), or because I’m a model (hah!), or wear a size 1 Gucci skirt (yeah… right!), but because unlike them, I have REAL friends. Real friends who are real women, who would rather die than say mean things to each other, sabotage each other or give compliments at the same time they give eye rolls. My friends will hug you tight, point to the spinach in your teeth while passing you a toothpick and bring you a lovely simple gift on your birthday. My friends don’t play games, laugh so loud and wide you can see their tonsils and would never lie to you.

I’m FAR richer than these urban wenches will ever be, but I will say that they make great TV! How about you? What’s your guilty pleasure?

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How Does Your Garden Grow?

2010-04-15T04:04:00.000-07:00

I have a brown thumb. I kill almost everything I’ve ever tried to grow, even lavender. Whenever I see it blossoming beautifully from under a gas station sign around town I mutter bitterly. How the heck could it practically grow wild all over town, yet die instantly in my garden?

I’m not a gardener. Never have been, but that doesn’t keep me from trying. I drool over my mother-in-laws beautiful, bountiful gardens and day dream at Costco when passing all the beautiful plants, pots, soils, fountains and of course, patio sets. But it seems like every attempt I’ve ever made at gardening ends in failure and frustration. Did I also mention that I’m not a quitter?

Last summer my family was lucky enough to enjoy the bounty of my friend’s beautiful garden. He and his family have a plot at the Davis community gardens and he was very generous with his delicious tomatoes and basil. The beautiful spring weather reminded me of the amazing tomato and basil salads we all loved so much last summer, and I felt determined to give my brown thumb another try.

I love watching seeds sprout. There is something so tangible and magical about putting a little nothing in some wet dirt and watching something green grow out of it. I made up my mind to try planting some basil and cherry tomatoes on my own this year. I hate my front yard and hate the waste of water and space that grass takes up. I’m converting a small patch of it, right in the sunshine and away from my pesky dogs, to my tomato basil garden (if all goes according to plan.)

Last week I picked up some organic seeds and a starter tray. I felt like a little kid again as I watered the dirt pellets and watched them morph, grow and expand before my eyes. I then carefully sewed half my basil seeds and half my tomato seeds in each little clump of earth. It was so easy to do! No going out in nature even needed. I covered the tray and placed it in a warm spot, but out of direct sunshine (as the instructions told me to.) A few days later… voila! Little basil sprouts!

I highly recommend this as a family project. The basil was quick to grow and very hearty. I have no tomato sprouts as of yet, but I think they take longer. My son couldn’t have cared less and had zero interest, but humored me none the less when I was screaming in amazement for everyone to come see my sprouts. I think that younger, less jaded and cranky children would be more impressed with this miracle. Here’s to a lush summer garden and hoping I can keep my brown thumb green this time!

Family Support

2010-04-13T01:01:00.000-07:00

When man cub was very young we had a lot of family support. It was wonderful! Till he was three years old we lived in Sacramento, as did my family. My in-laws weren’t too far from there and everyone visited often, offered to baby-sit and kept me company those first few scary months alone with the baby. When my son was three we moved to San Jose for my husband’s job. Even though we were farther than we had ever been, we drove down to Sacramento at least every few months and my grandparents, who I’m very close to, took the train from Sacramento to San Jose to visit often. I still had a lot of family support. This was important for me because it was around this time that my son was first diagnosed as having Autism. Those love-filled visits from my family kept me optimistic and strong when I needed it the most.

When man cub was in the first grade, we moved to Davis for good. We put down roots, got a house and some dogs and tucked in for the long-haul. Then, something unexpected happened. My grandparents, who are much more like my parents than grandparents, moved to Oregon, Brookings Oregon to be exact, a cozy 7hour drive away. My on-call babysitting, two people who were there for me unconditionally for as long as I can remember were suddenly gone and I was left with a big void in my family. “How dare they move somewhere affordable with no tax’s, on the beach, with good healthcare and thriving senior community!” Well, that’s what I was thinking at the time. Sure, I was happy for them. The cost of living in Sacramento had gotten too high and we were the main joy in their lives. I wanted them to live somewhere beautiful, make new friends, be healthy and happy, but I can’t help that it made me feel as if someone ripped out my support system.

We only see them every year now, and it’s been two years since we saw them last. I’ve needed them more than ever this year and its been tough having them so far away. “Come visit!” My Nana always tells me when I talk to her during our weekly phone calls. Like it’s that easy! I have school, as does man cub, my husband has work and we all know how cheap and affordable it is to drive that far. Sure! No problem! I’ll hop in the car right now!

As much as I love my grandparents and miss seeing them, I miss them most for totally selfish reasons. I miss having that family support. No other family members were there for me like they were. Having a teenager is just like having a toddler, but no one wants to baby-sit anymore. I need a break now just as much, if not worse then when he was a baby, but my support system isn’t here any longer.

I know my story isn’t rare and even now I have more family close to me than a lot of people I know. I do think this is one way in which our culture really suffers, the lack of family support. If I’m fortunate enough to someday have grandchildren, I won’t make them the center of my life, but I’ll happily be there for my son and daughter-in-law whenever they need me.

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I Think I Can

2010-04-09T09:34:00.000-07:00

(A little positive message to guide you into the weekend)

When I was younger I felt there were many things that I just couldn’t do. There was no way I was going to be able to push that baby out of my body when the time came, there was no way I was going to be able to make milk to feed that baby. Even before I was a mother that ugly “can’t” beast would raise its head. “I can’t do math! I can’t drive a stick shift! I can’t get that coveted job!” All things I thought I could never do, but ended up doing.

Now that I’m slowly getting older and wiser I’m learning that there’s no such thing as can’t, only “not enough time for” or “I don’t want it bad enough.” Anything I seriously put my mind to, can be accomplished. No really! I wouldn’t lie to you! I’m feeling like you just sniggered a little, maybe even gave me an eye roll and a “yeah… right!” But think about it. What was the last thing you really thought you couldn’t do, then did. Or how about this, what was the last thing you thought you couldn’t do, tried your best and failed at? I honestly can’t think of anything for me, and I’m betting you’re the same.

People do it all the time, fight off Cancer, overcome their fear of heights, go back to school after twenty years, all proving those “cant’s” wrong. You have all the power. You’re in control of your own life. If there’s something you really want and feel you can’t have, you need to figure out a way to make it happen. You can do it!

No! Wait! Stop!

2010-04-07T05:57:00.000-07:00

I mentioned last week how I’m trying out a “life skill” experiment with man cub while he’s on Spring Break. (you can read the original post by clicking here.) Our plans got off to a rough start when he came down with a bug on Easter. Of course I don’t want him making his own food choices while he’s sick, so we couldn’t start our trial till yesterday.

Yesterday he sat down, made a list and thought about what he would need for the week and what he could get with his self-imposed $50. I was pleasantly surprised as he made his way through the grocery store like an independent man. Picking and choosing his way down the isles, swapping out items he originally selected for those that were on-sale or of better value. He even kept track in his head without me saying a word! Come check-out he spent $44, but didn’t buy one vegetable. Other than the lack of leafy green’s his choices weren’t bad at all. Fresh cheese, crackers, chicken soup, pasta, strawberries, a frozen pizza, flavored Calistoga water and a few small treats filled his bags. I told him he could help himself to salad that I had already purchased at the Farmers Market (as I want to keep him healthy!)

My glow of pride and thoughts of underestimating him were short lived however. The second we walked in the door he downed a large chocolate bar he had bought. For dinner that night, the frozen pizza was the first to go. I’m really trying to keep my mouth shut about his culinary choices, but when he opted to have “Skittles” for breakfast, that was the last straw. “At least have your leftover pizza too!” I shrieked.

I know I’m supposed to let my baby bird grow some wings and take care of himself a bit. I also remember being in high school and making such wonderful choices as a Snickers bar and Pepsi for breakfast. I’m doing the best I can to keep my objections to myself. It’s just hard to let your kid grow up sometimes and make their own stupid choices.

Back in My Day!

2010-04-05T08:16:00.000-07:00

I’ve come to realize something recently. This generation of children we’re raising right now is ground breakingly unique. I don’t just mean they’re smarter or taller, I mean the choices, information, expectations and struggles are huge. This is also true for us, their parents.

Each generation is different from the next, sure! But I personally think that the one we’re raising right now has the biggest gap than any other before it. Just look at the way we communicate today vs. ten years ago? More social networking on-line, less face-to-face contact, more “split attention” expectations… everything is faster, brighter, smaller and tech tech tech! I’m curious just how the 3-D movies, multiple “smart” devices and the financial and educational system is going to effect our kids. They are bombarded with more messages, agendas, lights and whistles than any other generation.

Its been scientifically proven that you aren’t more effective when you multi-task. So when I see my son trying to use his iPod, phone, laptop and desktop computer all at the same time I scream and get him off, but I’m not around him 100% of the day. Just what could that be doing to his focus, attention and sense of accomplishment?

All generations like to idealize how things were “back in my day.” Change and evolution is usually for the good; but have we as a species gone too far? Are we pushing our children’s developing minds in directions that we were never meant to go? Will we instead have generation after generation of people who would fit any one of a disorder in the DSM manual? Who suffer from hearing loss from ear buds, heart damage from “energy” drinks, poor eyesight from tech devices and 3-D… Or do you think we’ll have a sub culture of people rebelling against all this tech and instead choosing to be more selective about what their children are exposed to and their expectations?

Technology and tools can be amazing! From personal experience I can say that the internet and computers has made school MUCH easier for me than it was before they were invented. At the same time, I’m also aware that they’re tools and there can be too much of a good thing. “Back in my day” parents knew exactly what was available for their children and what the risks and gains were. Technology keeps evolving at such a startling pace however that parents now don’t even have a frame of reference for guiding kids through the potential pitfalls and repercussions of these tools.

What do you think? Do you think it’s harder to be a parent now, or in another generation?

(TeeterTotter's on Facebook... speaking of tech...)

Learn, Grow & Shop!

2010-04-02T03:56:00.000-07:00

Man cub’s math class is doing a really great project. The kids all have forms to fill out with their parents about budgeting. How much the family spends on things like rent (or mortgage), utilities, groceries, car stuff, etc… Then they all research a local apartment, or other place to live. They can even have roommates from the class if they like. Then each team (if roommates) or student (if living alone) comes up with their own budget. Talk about real-world skills! I wish my high school would have had a project like this.

During spring break I’m taking this project one step further. Man cub said that he thinks he could live off $50 a week in groceries. I’m going to give him $50, have him make a shopping list and take him to the store. Then he will be 100% responsible for all his own meals for the week only using what he bought. I want him to get a little taste of the freedom and responsibilities that come with being on your own and this seemed like a great opportunity (maybe he’ll even get some extra credit out of it!)

Summertime is usually our time to help man cub out with “life skills.” In past summers we’ve opened checking accounts (complete with debit card), shown him how to use the library, ATM machine, make on-line purchases (through secure sites like Amazon), use the washer and dryer… What are some ways you’re helping your children get ready for the “real world.” Are their school’s doing any helpful projects like this?

Three Months In

2010-03-31T02:15:00.000-07:00

We’re three months into 2010 and I feel like I’m finally getting my “groove” back. Could be the change in the weather, or the fact that man cub’s less crazy right now (-sigh… teenagers!) I’m not sure what the cause. All I know is that it feels so good to be hitting my stride.

Speaking of “stride” man cub hasn’t run with me since my last post. This Friday we’re checking out a local Akido center by our house to get him into martial arts three days a week. Sadly, I haven’t run since the last time I went with man cub either. I know… I know… I had all these plans to get up before the sun every day this week, during my spring break, and run like the wind. Instead I snored like a bear, only rising when I knew I needed to wake up man cub for school. I was also lazy during my mid terms last week and drove my truck to school rather than riding my bike. I definitely noticed a difference in my mood, stress level and sound sensitivity during my tests without getting exercise in first. Not good!

Three months into the new year and I haven’t lost a single pound and am running less than I want to. My classes are going well however and I know I’m doing my best. Just being ok with my best and not beating myself up for a lack of “perfection” (whatever THAT is) is an accomplishment in itself. So yes, there’s room for improvement (isn’t there always?) but I’m doing really well and am proud of myself for all the things I balance in this teeter totter life of mine.

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iLove It!

2010-03-29T02:50:00.000-07:00

With the sale of my old car I splurged and bought myself an iPhone. This is my first “i” product, but they’re no stranger to our house. My son has had an iPod for about three years now and my husband has had either an iPod or iPhone pretty much as soon as they both came out. I am more technologically resistant however and not only didn’t see the need, but there were plenty of other things I’d rather spend that kind of money on. My mind changed recently when I started running AND when I was stuck with my own two feet for transportation. I would often find myself thinking how great it would be to have some music, or a book on tape to keep me company and help drown out the traffic noise on my commute. I was ready for a new phone anyway, so I decided to splurge and go for the iPhone.

Another thing that held me back from getting one is that I really hate how people use such devices as buffers between themselves and the world. It’s one thing to have your ear buds on, or be checking your e-mail while you wait at the DMV (both of which I did on Friday), but another to do so in the middle of a dinner party, your child’s PTA meeting, or other social occasion where you need to be present. It’s important to me to use my iPhone as a tool, not a shield to keep people out. This said, my favorite use for it so far is a sound app called “Ambiance.” It’s like iTunes for sounds. There’s a massive library that you get to choose all kinds of sounds from and then create your own sound playlist. Pretty much any sound you can think of is on there. They have about 50 different sounds just for rain alone! I’m actually enjoying looping these sounds and creating my own “zen” playlist more than listening to music on iTunes.

Another surprising use of my new iPhone has been to get man cub’s butt out of bed in the morning. He’s always been rough to wake up, but I found with the proper musical inspiration, he’s up and at em’. It’s a much better way to start the day (for both of us.)

Although I was slow to join the MP3 revolution, I’m loving my iPhone. Just don’t expect to see it replace my other body parts or find me checking my e-mail at the grocery store check out anytime soon!

If you have an iPhone and are interested, here are my favorite apps (so far):

1) Ambiance

2) Walk To Car

3) Koi Pond

4) 3D Brain (mostly for school)

5) Louvre

6) Science Friday (a NPR app)

7) Dinosaurs (The American Natural History Museum app)

8) Zombie Farm (don’t judge me till you play)

I Want to SPRING!

2010-03-25T05:02:00.000-07:00

Spring has sprung and I’m feeling the desire to spring right out of town! Like the Barenaked Ladies song said, “If I had a million dollars…” Sadly, the realities of our (and many families) financial situation is that the only vacation we’ll be having this spring is a “staycation.” However, it’s free to fantasize, right?

If I had a million dollars (ok, maybe just a grand) where would I take the family for vacation?

1) Monterey. My son and I adore Monterey. It’s not too long of a car ride to get there, family friendly and beautiful. The weather is always perfect and the Monterey Bay Aquarium never fails to take my breath away.

2) Disneyland… do I really need to elaborate?

3) Santa Cruz. Call me a beach girl at heart, but it’s been ages since I’ve been to the boardwalk (pictured). I remember then having a pirate themed mini-golf place all underground that was like mini golfing through the Pirates of the Caribbean. I don’t know if it’s still there, but I have great memories. Like Monterey, it isn’t too far and the drive is beautiful.

4) Yosemite. I went here many times as a child, but have yet to take my man cub. My husband also has never been. I would love to go hiking along the waterfalls and rent a cabin for a week. Ok, maybe that’d cost more than a grand (but less than a million dollars!)

Fantasy time is over; here’s some closer things that we could actually afford to do over spring break.

1) Muir Woods. Located next to San Fransisco, this beautiful ancient redwood forest could just give Yosemite a run for its money! Just a quick drive from Sacramento, you’ll feel like you went all the way to Oregon. At $3 per person, it’s a deal of a day excursion. Bring your own picnic to make it even more affordable. Did I mention they also have plenty of stroller, wheelchair and pregnancy friendly paths?

2) Nimbus Fish Hatchery. Fall is actually the best time to pay them a visit, as you can actually see salmon jumping up the “spawning ladder.” But tanks of fish of all sizes should impress small visitors this time of year. They’re also closely located to the Nimbus Winery (home to Monster Golf and the Spaghetti Factory.) Be on the lookout for greedy birds trying to get at the fish!

3) Dave & Busters. Those of us with older kids (or who never quite grew up) would enjoy the quick day trip down to Dave & Busters in Milpitas. Cyberbowling, huge arcade games and tasty food await those willing to pay. Sign up for e-mail coupons on their website to save a few coin before planning your trip out.

During “staycations” we always have fun just exploring our own backyard. Davis is packed with art galleries, coffee shops and campus events that we’re usually too busy to enjoy. Then of course, there’s literally your own backyard! Sometimes just spending time enjoying your own place can be the most relaxing and economical way to go.

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Bad Trucking Mama!

2010-03-23T04:04:00.000-07:00

I don’t know about you, but I could use an “on the lighter side” blog today.

I mentioned a few weeks ago how my “Big Blue Whale” (aka my Toyota RAV4) died on me and how I was sad about it. Fast forward a bit and I have good news! My father-in-law decided my being car-less was the goose he needed to get a new truck. Guess who got his old truck?

Now, I’ve never pictured myself as a “bad trucking mama” type. I’ve actually never thought much about owning a truck at all… till I got mine. I now have a 1993 GMC Sierra and the thing is huge! My mother-in-law dubbed it the “Great White” and I couldn’t have picked a better name myself (yes, it’s white.) It’s such fun to drive and I love being that high up, I’ve even found myself comparing my truck to other trucks on the road, “Mine’s bigger!”

I always thought I would want a Toyota Prius, but I’m finding that having a car people can hear coming is a bonus in Davis. All the bike riders and pedestrians at school can hear me coming and actually move! I always did worry a little that since a Prius is so quiet people would step right out in front of my car, now I’m thinking that would indeed happen more than I’d like. Of course, I think it’s going to take an “act of Oprah” for me to drive another Toyota anyway.

As part of the mourning process for my old car, I spent a little money “pimping” the Great White. I got a few pink great white shark stickers for the back, gleaming teeth license plate frames (pictured), new seat covers, bins for groceries, oh yeah… and a Darth Vader bobble head. It’s impossible to be cranky when you see Darth bobbing along to the radio. My son loves riding in the Great White and I’m noticing that just driving it puts me in a good mood. So thank you to my father-in-law and his generous gift! It not only made my life easier, but puts a smile on my face every day.

Running with Lurch

2010-03-18T05:46:00.000-07:00

I decided recently that Grizzly would benefit from daily aerobic exercise. Yes, he’s taking PE this semester at school, but if you believe that high schooler’s get a cardio workout in PE, I have a bridge to sell you; especially my Grizzly who loves exercise about as much as he loves doing chores.

Like many members of our family Grizzly suffers from Anxiety, especially now that his hormones are in full rage. I’ve noticed that personally I feel much better mentally (as I’ve mentioned before) when I get daily cardio. I suggested to Grizzly last week that I’d like him to join me on my morning run to see if it would also help him throughout his day. He was game to give it a try.

As you can see by the joy etched on his face, this spirit of willingness was short-lived. Day 1 was actually fun. He wasn’t exactly excited to go out, but willing and in a good mood. Day 2 was when I started noticing that my new running partner wasn’t my son, it was Lurch from the Addams Family. He is so tall and thin with a baritone voice that makes Barry White envious that every grumble of displeasure at his situation made me feel like I was running with Lurch. It quickly became a joke between us, and when I’d cheerfully spout, “Let’s run from this corner to that truck” he’d reply with, “Yes Mrs. Addams” in a dead ringer Lurch voice.

Each morning it’s becoming harder and harder to get my little Lurch out of bed to run with me and I’m noticing that I’m also not enjoying it as much as I was just a few days ago. In an effort to help my son feel better mentally through the day, I think I’m taking away one of the few things that was helping ME feel better! I’m feeling like any day now we’ll be two Lurch’s grunting and groaning at each other along the road and I don’t want that to happen.

Not too long ago Grizzly expressed some interest in the Japanese martial art called Aikido. I told him that this weekend I want him to research some martial arts places close by and we’d check them out for lessons. I think it’s time for my big guy to find his own cardio joy and let me return to my teen-less running. Till then, Lurch and I will be hitting the pavement before sun-up every morning. Wish me luck!

YES! Your Teens Crazy!

2010-03-16T03:00:00.000-07:00

But it’s not their fault.

Did you ever wonder what’s up with teenagers? Why the seeming lack of all impulse control? Lack of foresight? No sense of action and consequence? It turns out it's not their fault, it's their brain.

According to a fascinating article I found on NPR, The Teen Brain: It's Just Not Grown Up Yet, the teenager’s brain isn’t as developed as yours, or as developed as scientists even once thought they were. The whole frontal lobe, the part of the brain that tells your teen 'Is this a good idea? What is the consequence of this action?' isn’t fully connected yet.

In the article neurologist Frances Jensen says. "It's not that they don't have a frontal lobe. And they can use it. But they're going to access it more slowly… the nerve cells that connect teenagers' frontal lobes with the rest of their brains are sluggish.” See! Not their fault!

Once upon a time scientists believed that children over 10 years of age just had tiny adult brains. Not so according to the article. Jensen goes on to explain how this lack of frontal lobe connection can affect their reaction to drugs, alcohol and why it might be smart to wait on the whole driving thing. A wonderful read and great information for anyone with a teenager in their life. Better yet! Print out a copy and have your teen read it, then the next time they argue with you just let them know, “Your brain just isn’t ready yet honey!” You can’t argue with science!

Picture Perfect

2010-03-12T02:50:00.000-08:00

Family photos are a big deal to me. I’m a historian at heart and a very visual person. It’s important to me to be able to look back at a visual record of my family's most memorable moments. Thank goodness digital cameras were invented soon after having Grizzly!

How to store, share, order and organize all the photos is more complicated that what camera to use to take them. For me, I’ve always been a Sony Cybershot girl. I love their cameras, price and compactibility. I’m brand loyal when it comes to a Sony camera. Finding the best website for hosting and sharing however has proved difficult.

I used Kodak Easyshare Gallery for years and loved them at first. The software was simple and speedy; the prints were great quality, reasonably priced and delivered quickly. Over the years however the ease and speed of their site has gone down as has the quality of their prints. For the last three years I purchase a hard back photo book highlighting my favorite pictures for the year. This makes a beautiful keepsake and easy way of organizing each year (as well as concentrating them down to just the highlights.) These books usually run about $50. Not cheap by any means, but I think less time, work and money then I was spending on your typical photo album. I was less that thrilled with the quality of our 2009 album from Kodak and swore to find a new site.

After years of being Kodak loyal I felt it was a really big hassle to switch. I was determined there was something better out there and persevered. I ended up choosing Shutterfly. I know many people who are very happy with the quality of their prints and books (I have yet to order from them myself). I liked the speed and ease of uploading. Although the organization and editing isn’t as intuitive as I’d like, I do love the “personal website” feature. In essence you can create your own family site where as many, or as few people as you like can come and view your album, videos, leave comments, share them on Facebook, etc… I think that’s a pretty great feature. They can even add photos to your albums (every handy for holidays!)

My hard work is now done and I transferred all our important pictures, and new 2010 shots to Shutterfly. How about you? Are you intimidated by the options, features or maybe even security of photo sharing sites? Do you still arrange prints in regular photo albums, or just have a drawer full of disks and memory cards that you’ll “get around to” someday?

Combating Stress

2010-03-10T05:33:00.000-08:00

All of us have stress in our lives. The demands made on your time, energy and emotions are endless and exhausting. Anxiety, depression and fatigue are especially common demons for us mothers.

Since my car died on me a few weeks ago I’ve been getting a lot more exercise by riding my bike to class. As a side benefit I noticed something wonderful. My stress, anxiety and mood have all been improved. Before when I would drive to school even the slightest noise during a test would send my heart racing and irritate the heck out of me. With the test I took this morning after riding my bike to class however I noticed just how much better I felt, (and I think, preformed!)

Inspired by what I found I did a little research when I got home on the connection between exercise, stress, depression and other mental illnesses. I don’t think you’ll be too surprised that every article I found confirmed that aerobic exercise is wonderful for stress. As is walking, breathing exercises, meditation, laughter and good food. I did find something else that I found really interesting however and wanted to share.

A study conducted in 2009 in the Netherlands shows that your proximity to “Green Space” is vital to both your physical and mental health. Essentially, the closer you live to a park or other nature area, the healthier people tend to be both inside and out! Here’s a link to the article if you’re interested. I found it pretty fascinating. So grab your kids, head to a park and chase them around till you’re both exhausted. Better yet, save some money, keep the car in the garage and bike to the park!

Moms Gone Wild!

2010-03-09T00:14:00.000-08:00

When you’re a mom, it’s a big deal to be able to get out of the house; the younger the child, the bigger the deal. It’s funny how quickly I forgot how rare those evenings out are now that Grizzly’s a teenager. For us these days it’s more a question of money rather than time (do I need to scare you all with how much teen boys eat and how much it costs just to keep them fed!?)

This past Saturday my husband and I enjoyed a rare date night out. Well, I got a night out, my husband, unfortunately was chair of the event we were at so I actually didn’t get to see him that much. I didn’t mind though as I knew a lot of people there, including some moms with little kids at home who had escaped for the night. When I came across them I saw a gleam in their eyes of such unrestrained glee that it really brought me back. These women couldn’t have cared less who they were with, or what they were doing. They could have been at a chiropractor seminar for crying out loud and would have just been thrilled to be out! I equate it with that shinning glazed look that kids get on Christmas morning.

They were out, among other adults, drinking wine and eating good food. No one was interrupting them, crying their name in a decibel that would make dogs howl, no smelly diapers waiting to be changed… just them and other adults. Makeup on, hair done, nice clothes out of the dry cleaning bag, a real purse on their shoulders, what a treat! It’s funny how I’d forgotten what a big deal that all is! You’d think for moms who work outside of the home that it wouldn’t be so special, but there really is no difference. Going to an office every day doesn’t not a “night out” make.

I had a wonderful time and enjoyed the event, but I guarantee you not nearly as much as the other escapee moms who were watching the clock and counting down every second like a kid at Disneyland who knows the park’s closing soon. And like watching those kids at Disneyland, it made the evening that much sweeter for me. Maybe having a teenager isn’t quite as bad as I (some days) think it is?

RIP Big Blue Whale

2010-03-05T00:38:00.000-08:00

Its been three weeks now since the death of my big blue whale. Her transmission had a problem that was going to cost me more to have fixed than it was worth, or than we could afford right now. There was nothing left to do but put her out of her misery. Sadly, my big blue whale was a Toyota and trust me when I say that no one is in the market to buy a Toyota right now, much less one with a busted transmission.

I’ve never sold a car before, always just traded them in for new ones. We’re not in the market for a replacement right now and I’m not really sure I even want another car. Therefore I was left with the intention of selling her. While I Googled “How to sell a car” I came across Buymywreck.com; a site that promised to purchase any car in any conditions at as little an inconvenience to you as possible. Sounded good to me! I typed in some information and quickly had a bid on my blue whale that didn’t sound too off the mark considering her needs.

I was surprisingly sad when they came to tow her out of my driveway the other day. Happy to have it over and some closure, but missing all the good times and memories we had with her. Driving to LA, San Francisco, wine tasting, adopting our dogs…She was a good family car and a real hard worker, unlike my husband’s fancier car that no one’s allowed to even drink in. I loved her like some people love a pet and am feeling her loss in a way that makes me chastise myself for being so silly.

I should have the money from her sell soon and plan on doing two things right away. 1) Buy an iPhone (Mama needs a little treat right now) and 2) Sign up for motorcycle classes in Woodland. I’m still dreaming of a Vespa in my future, but safety needs to come first. In the meantime we’re a one car family and I’m trying to get used to it.

Luckily we all three live, work and go to school in about a 2 mile radius. I’m able to drop my husband at work most days and just drive his car. It’s not the same though and I in no way consider it to be our “family” car. In the meantime I’m just missing my big blue whale and feeling cranky about it.

2010-03-04T13:17:00.000-08:00

Lowjack Your Kid?

2010-03-03T02:37:00.000-08:00

While browsing the AT&T store for a new cell phone I came across an interesting new feature they offer. For $9.99 a month you can “lowjack” members of your family. Of course they don’t call it that. AT&T calls it “Family Map”. Essentially it’s a way to keep track of where people are (or more accurately, where their cell phones are) and I’m tempted to get it.

Call it a violation of privacy, or yet another way for the phone company to squeeze money out of you, but as the parent of a teenager, I call it peace of mind. In one look I’d be able to know if he made it to school on time while I’m in class, if he is where he said he’d be, on his way home like he claimed he was, or (heaven forbid) find him if he went missing. That is of course, assuming he took his phone with him.

AT&T bills it as “know where your kids are at any time, so that you can feel more comfortable as they become more independent.” I like the example they use touting how you “don’t disturb your teenage driver with calls to see if they made it to their destination safely.” Although Grizzly isn’t driving (yet), I can see that indeed being a handy use for the tool.

Honestly, I can also see it providing peace of mind for my husband if I do end up getting a scooter. He could check to make sure I arrived to class ok without calling me on my cell. But is it crossing the line? Is there something creepy and stalkery about knowing where your family is anytime you want? What do you think?

Ps and Qs

2010-03-01T04:53:00.000-08:00

In case you’re unaware, there’s a controversy taking shape this week in California. This week is “no cussing” week. As a parent, I can see the advantages to this. There have been many times I have shot nasty looks at others who were peppering their vocabulary with slang swear words within ear shot of my little tyke, or even asked someone to “watch your language please!” However, as an American, I feel differently. I feel it is our right to swear all day and night if that’s what we choose. Of course it could offend others, if used in public as actual communication, but this is a free country, right? Didn’t thousands upon thousands of people die for the right for us to swear if we so choose?

Then of course there’s the real underlying issue I have with the whole concept.

1) People are making a lot of money off this. It was started innocently enough as a school project by a boy, but now he and his family are drowning in sponsors and have even started a motivational business based on how we should all be “cuss free.”

2) This is like re-upholstering the deck chair of the Titanic. We as a society are at such a crisis right now, does it really matter if we swear or not? I don’t know about you, but if I’d lost my job, my house, my kid’s teacher is getting laid off, I have no healthcare… I’d be “cussing” mad too! Are we now going to tell these people to “watch their P’s and Q’s?” I think not. I’d rather have the California Legislature (who are entertaining this bill) work on some REAL issues we’re all struggling with.

I don’t allow my teen to use “big” swear words, but I know he does with his friends. Slang vocabulary has always been a form of bonding and identifying your social sub-culture. When he’s out of ear shot I’m also guilty of letting a few fly. Like drinking, driving and other adult activities I feel swearing has its time and place. I will never however let some kid tell me that I don’t have the right to yell explicatives if I get my car repoed after losing my job!

Intervention vs Teamwork

2010-02-26T09:19:00.000-08:00

It seems at least once a year I make a leap of faith, back off my son’s school work and decide it would be good to let my little/big bird try and fly on his own a little. I always assume that the wonderful, caring teachers at his school will offer him plenty of support and that he doesn’t need us to ride his back like the expert jockeys we’ve become.

January was such a time for us. He was having a lot of stress and anytime we’d bring up the “H” word, he’d just become more stressed and resentful. So, we backed off. I let his special education teacher know we were backing off, crossed my fingers and hoped for the best. A month later we come to find out that he went from B’s to F’s in almost everything. Apparently without us “on him” he did nothing. I’m not really sure where the school was in all this. I know he’s a 10^th grader, but he does have an IEP (Individual Education Plan for children with special needs.) Sadly, I don’t think we covered “lazy” or “unmotivated” under his list of accommodations in the IEP.

Sound the bugles because here we charge to the rescue once more! Though this time, my husband had a great plan. Rather than climb back up in the saddle to ride him some more, we’re pulling together as a team. I’m the organizer in the house and the one who knows the school computer homework system the best, my husband is great at being a calm, helpful motivator, so he’ll work 1:1 with Grizzly to get him back on track. Grizzly of course will do the actual work. It’s only been two days but we’re already seeing some progress.

I’m hoping a day will come when he can actually fly on his own a little, or at least get the support he needs from people that aren’t us. I guess that day isn’t here yet though. –sigh-

Sweet and Healthy

2010-02-24T07:26:00.000-08:00

I’m always on the lookout for ways I can improve my cooking and keep my family healthy. The more natural, the better. Of course I don’t have nearly the amount of time and money that I wish I had to perfect this (and really, who couldn’t live without pizza!?)

The other night we were all craving something sweet, but the cupbords were pretty bare. I had just bought a bag of beautiful red pears from Costco, one of the few fruits everyone in my house will eat, and had a strike of culinary inspiration. I’d made baked apples in the past, but never baked pears. I gave it a try and the result was delicious! Everyone loved them, they fit the bill for the sweet treat AND were healthy and low in calories. That’s win-win in my book.

Here’s the recipe for 3 pears:

(You can adjust it for more as needed)

1 pear for each person (I like red pears as the skin is a bit firmer and the flesh not as mealy as others)

1 cinnamon stick per person

1/3 cup butter

2 tbsp honey

1 tsp sugar (I like raw sugar over white)

1 cup rolled oats (or you can omit the sugar and use 1 packet brown sugar instant oatmeal)

Pinch each of cinnamon, clove & nutmeg

-Core each pear while keeping it whole (remove stem & seeds).

-Place pears up-right in a heat proof dish (I like bread loaf pans for this.)

-Melt butter and mix all other ingredient together with the butter in a bowl.

-Pour mixture over pears (and inside holes left by coring)

-Place 1 cinnamon stick in each hole

-Bake at 425 for 30min (you’ll smell it when done!)

Just Keep Swimming

2010-02-22T06:56:00.000-08:00

You know how sometimes when something bad happens in your life you tell yourself, “I know there’s a reason for this, I just don’t know what it is.” Or, “Years from now I’ll look back on this and laugh!” Well I’ve been telling myself both of these things lately.

On Friday I was informed that the transmission on my beloved car is done; caput, no good, it’s over. Despite not having a lot of miles on it and me maintaining it “by the book,” a major part of my car just decided to quit out on me. “Freak accident” I think were the words chosen by my trusty mechanic. To get a new transmission however would cost more than the car itself is worth and would be money that theoretically would have to sprout off a tree in our yard because we don’t have it anyway. Yup, we’re now a 1 car family.

Just how can a family in these modern times possibly survive with one car? I’m a full time student, as is our teenager and my husband works full time. Luckily, we live in the town of Davis, so this isn’t the end of the world. For now, I’ll either ride my bike or take the bus to school, my son already walks the 1 block to school and home everyday and my husband will drive the 2 miles to work. Now, I’m trying to tell myself that my perfectly good car died for a reason. Perhaps to save us money in the long run? Force me to get into shape by walking and riding my bike? Or just maybe, I’m not meant to have a car at all.

Maybe I’m meant to be zipping around in a cute little pink (or baby blue) Italian scooter? Hmmmm, there’s some food for thought. I’ve ALWAYS wanted a scooter. Ever since I was a young girl and I saw Grace Jones riding one out in the desert for Honda shouting, “We’re all born the same, but where you go from there, is completely up to you.” “YES!” I shouted back at my MTV. “I want to be zipping on the sucker in the middle of nowhere too!” Call it what you will, fulfilling a long-term wish, a mid life crisis, whatever… I’m toying with the idea of buying a Vespa.

In the meantime, my sweet Toyota RAV4 sits in my driveway like a bloated blue whale that’s just been hunt down. When I feel the icy claw of stress and panic grasping at my chest I just ask myself, “What would Dori do?” And I hop on my bike and “Just Keep Swimming!”

Mama Math

2010-02-19T01:35:00.000-08:00

1- How many minutes in the day a mama gets to herself.

2- How many hands mama really has.

3- How many times mama threatened to kill daddy during labor.

4- How many cups of java it takes per day to keep mama happy.

5- How many times mama has to run to the store per week.

6- How many seconds mama has to take a shower.

7- How many hands other people think mama has.

8- How many times mama thought of jumping a plane to Hawaii today.

9- How many loads of laundry are sitting on top of mama’s washer.

10- The number mama counts to when she needs a time out.

11- How many times mama felt lucky today.

12- How many items will go “un-checked” on mama’s to-do list today.

13- The number of times mama had to answer the same question today.

14- How many cheerios mama found at the bottom of her purse.

15- How many tops with baby stains on them mama now has.

16- How many times mama had to get up with baby last night.

17- How old daddy can act sometimes.

18- The age mama dreams about when baby’s a teen.

19- The number of boo boo’s mama kissed this week.

20- How many lifetimes it would take to notice and appreciate all that mama does for her family.

Secret Twin

2010-02-17T05:20:00.000-08:00

Ok, I have a confession to make. Once a year or so I do a “vanity search.” That’s when you type your name into Google to see what’s out there on the world wide web about you. I was having some down time after school today and decided to do such a search. It’d been a while and well, curiosity got the best of me.

What I found was really interesting; a Dr in Australia who died in 1999. That’s not the interesting part. What was so interesting was that we share the exact same name (including middle), are the only girls in our family, but like me, she started her academic career late in life and at first worked as a teacher. After years in teaching she decided to return to school and pursue science instead. She earned her PhD at the age of 54, because she had an “insatiable curiosity and personal love of learning.” WOW! Sounds familiar! Sadly she died just one year after getting her PhD of non-Hodgkins lymphoma.

This story of my “twin” really made me think. How could two women separated by time and geography have so much in common? She even wore glasses and had my dark hair. As a child I would even dream of living in Australia and was obsessed with the notion. Do you think everyone has such a connection with another person somewhere? Or is it just a very strange coincidence? Or… perhaps none of us are as unique as we think we are? Hmmmm, food for thought.

Chocolaty Co-Op Cooking Class

2010-02-15T03:22:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago my sister-in-law invited me to join her in taking a Valentine’s Day Chocolate Desserts cooking class at the Sacramento Natural Foods Co-Op. She had never taken a cooking class before, and thought this one sounded fun. I had to agree and signed up with her.

The Saturday before Valentine's Day found us sipping a mocha at 9AM in the Sacramento Co-Op lounge, chatting and waiting for our class to start. At 10AM we made our way next door to the Co-Op’s cooking classroom. A modest sized building, but well laid out with six round tables that fit about five people at each, a learning kitchen layout complete with two TV monitors suspended from the ceiling and a large mirror, all hanging over a state of the art kitchen stove and counter. All the mise en place were set up and ready for the arrival of the thirty or so other women who would join us in learning the fine art of chocolate.

Our instructor, Jill Simmons, introduced herself to us as a State Fair pie contest winner and mentioned being on morning TV the day before. She said she’d been teaching cooking for about six years and seemed to radiate confidence in her art, a la Julia Childs. She was accompanied by a team of about ten sous chefs and a dishwasher who were no strangers to the learning kitchen. We students went around the room introducing ourselves. My sister-in-law and I found that we were far from the only sister-group there. It appeared we weren’t the only ones who felt this would be a fun “girl” outing to do on Valentines weekend.

During the three hour class we would learn to make classic chocolate truffles, chocolate cake with chocolate ganache frosting, chocolate cherry scones and chocolate pot de crème, all the while sipping on gourmet hot chocolate and nibbling different types of chocolates to learn how different cocoa levels taste. All the students had their hands coated in the thick, sticky, brown goo that was our luscious truffle filling while we struggled to make perfect round balls by rolling the filling around on our palms. The cleaning method of choice was, of course, your own tongue. The giggles of grown women playing with their food reverberated off the cozily decorated walls and Ms. Simmons made her way around the room praising our efforts.

Each student left with a beautiful valentine’s box, complete with themed tissue paper and one scone, four truffles and one cupcake that we had all made during class. At $45 (non member price) and $35 (member price), both my sister-in-law and I considered the class to be a real bargain. Each participant also received a coupon for the Co-Op in case you wished to shop for supplies to further expand your culinary skill at home. I would definitely take a class there again.

Valentines Day Ideas

2010-02-12T00:03:00.000-08:00

If you’re like me, you’ve been wracking your brain to come up with some fun, inexpensive ideas of what to do this Valentines Day. Perhaps even something the whole family will enjoy? Hey, you know you can always count on me to help… so here’s some suggestions!

Second Saturday: If you’re luck enough to have a date night this weekend, check out Second Satruday. Many art galleries in downtown Sacramento will be open and hosting reception events from 6PM to 10PM. Most within walking distance from one to the other. There’s also always plenty of live music and street vendors with plenty of arts and crafts to check out, or buy.

Picnic at William Land Park: I have great memories of feeding the ducks at the large pond here, walking through the rose gardens and playing at Fairy Tale Town. The Sacramento Zoo may not be the first place you think of for romance, especially if you come with the kids often, but doing something child-like with your honey can be just the boost your relationship needs! Take your time together, take pictures and walk slowly through the dark places like the reptile house (wink-wink)

Check out Crocker Art Museum: They have a special exhibit right now of antique jewelry that I’m dying to see. You could take the whole family, then go home and make home made art Valentines cards for each other after being inspired by the many famous works of art there.

Kick Booty at Monster Golf: Don’t monsters = Valentines Day? I actually have yet to go here, but Grizzly’s been many times and loves it. I’m keeping it in mind for Valentines Day in case the weather doesn’t hold as the whole course is indoors. If fresh air golf is more your style, there’s always Scandia.

Is Lady Luck With You? Then check out Thunder Valley Casino! My husband and I would love to hit Las Vegas every year. There’s something so exciting about getting away from ALL kids and playing in an adult theme park. That’s just what a casino is. Even if you aren’t gamblers, the atmosphere is charged with excitement and there are many excellent restaurants, bars and nightclubs. I personally like Thunder Valley better than Cash Creek or Red Hawk. They have better cheap slots, are cleaner, not too big and not too busy. Obviously, you’d need a sitter for this one, but you just may win enough to pay their fee!

Head to the Library: Over the weekend many local libraries are hosting events just for children. Chocolates, card making and story time abound. It’s also fun to pick out a few cozy books, then head home for your own story time (complete with coco of course), even if the kids are at grandma’s for the weekend. I know I love it when my husband reads to me out loud.

These are just a few quick ideas to get you started. Please feel free to share your own plans/tips/advice and suggestions.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Are you S.A.D?

2010-02-10T04:35:00.000-08:00

I’m talking about Seasonal Affective Disorder, aka: Winter Blues, Winter Depression… This year has been the greyest, wettest winter that I can remember in a long time and I think it’s taking a tole on the whole family.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m far from a sun worshipper and always joke that I live in the wrong place. I always felt I’d be much happier (climate wise) in Ireland, Washington, or even Seattle, but after this cold, bleak winter, I’m not so sure anymore.

The US National Library of Medicine notes that "some people experience a serious mood change when the seasons change. They may sleep too much, have little energy, and crave sweets and starchy foods. They may also feel depressed.” Well, that sucks! So what can be done to help? Luckily, quite a few things.

1) Spend some time outside when the sun is shining. If that’s impossible for you, you might want to consider investing in a small “Full Spectrum Light” and spend a little 1:1 time with it.

2) Pull out the sheer curtains, bright throw pillows and yellow table cloths. Bright, cheery colors can lift your mood quite a bit. If you’re having anxiety, blue is best. I like the tropical blues that will remind you of a peaceful beach vacation. You can even pour some blue sand in a dish with a few shells to play with whenever you’re feeling anxious. Just be prepared for the kids to love it so much that they steal it away from you.

3) Get plenty of exercise. This my seem like a no-brainer for feeling blue, but tends to be one of those “easier said than done” type activities. I love to pop in a video like Yoga for Stress Release. You can pick how much time you have to spend on yourself and do it without having to leave your home. Most similar videos have great soothing music and take place in exotic, vacation like destinations. Think of it as your “mental margarita.”

4) Keep healthy! Make sure you’re all getting plenty of vitamin D (from enriched orange juice or milk.) Eat lots of fresh fruits and vegetables to help keep your spirits high.

5) Don’t forget the fun! Break out the board games, art project, journals, Wii, Legos or whatever your family enjoys doing together. Pop in a funny movie, munch some popcorn, read a book together… all these activities will help keep your cheerful even on the greyest day.

More tips? Advice? Please share!

The Kid Whisperer

2010-02-08T03:59:00.000-08:00

Have you ever watched an episode of the Dog Whisperer and found yourself wishing Cesar Milan would come to your home and work his magic on your kid? I’m actually surprised how much of that show is relevant to child rearing and just plain good parenting (especially with teenagers.) Here’s some tips I’ve learned from Ceasar that keep me sane and my son healthy, happy and safe.

1) You’re the head of the pack! That’s right, you’re a parent first, not a friend. You need your child to respect you and knowing their place in the family (ie: pack) is comforting. Sending mixed messages about your leadership role will only cause stress and negative behaviors.

2) Exercise is mandatory. A restless, bored child will find a way to occupy themselves in ways that you may not always like or agree with (just like a puppy.) If you keep them busy with appropriate activities, not only will they keep out of trouble, but they’ll sleep better too!

3) Encourage behavior you want while discouraging what you don’t want. Don’t reward that bad behavior (ie, McDonalds because you’re tired and your kid nagged you for it all the way home in the car.) Instead re-direct negative behavior and reinforce the ones you want, (like “great job on that big test! NOW we can get McDonalds!)

4) Spend time with your kids. Children (like well behaved animals) don’t just know what to do. They need to be taught by example and shown what’s right and wrong. Meaning, don’t tell your child not to swear, and then put a sailor to shame. Kids, like animals, learn what they can get away with very quickly, and once that is learned, it’s much harder to re-learn. So spend lots of time with them and get it right the first time!

5) If you’re calm, they’re calm. I know… WAY easier said than done, but children (even babies) pick up on your stress and take cues from you on how they should react to a situation, even when you don’t know it. If you freak out, you’re telling them (by your behavior) that this situation warrants a freak out (even if it doesn’t.) So play it like Fonzie before letting your emotions take over. Ever see the episode of the Dog Whisperer with the totally high-strung neurotic owner who has no idea why little Fluffy is also a high strung mess? Even though your situation may not be that bad, even the best of us can be a negative example to our kids on how to handle stressful situations. Like the dogs on the show, your child will also find comfort in your calm, strong demeanor.

Mood Makeover

2010-02-05T01:19:00.000-08:00

It is my belief that just about all teenagers (heck, all people) suffer from some form of anxiety and or depression. My own Grizzly has struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember and this year also seems to be making friends with depression. I do not believe that things such as environment, diet, smell, sounds can singularly CAUSE depression and anxiety; I do believe that they can be a contributing factor.

With these beliefs in mind, I turned my eye towards Grizzly’s bedroom. Let me just say that if this was MY bedroom, I’d be much more depressed and anxious than he was. In fact, I think I’d refuse to sleep in it. Heavy velvet curtains not only blocked out all light from the two small windows, but in this weather, they encouraged mold to form on the sill. This enchanting aroma mixes with the palatable stench crawling its way out of his closet to form an almost physical punch to the nose the second you entered his room. Gargoyls, bits of anatomy floating in jars and dragons line every shelf. In short, it looks like I raised a little biologist (or something much worse.) What’s a mom to do about such a state? What any good mom would do, get my butt to Target stat!

I picked up a sheer cream tie valance that still matches the medieval theme of his bedroom, but lets in tons of light. Luckily Grizzly purchased a beta fish and live aquatic plant last week so I can use them both as an excuse for needing more light in his room. I also got him new sheets, mattress pad and some plants. I moved everything creepy out of direct line-of-sight (not out of his room mind you, that would be too invasive) and replaced it with something green or soothing. I put funny books high up on his shelves and moved more serious works (like our friends Dante and Poe) down low. I think it’s impossible to be depressed if you’re reading Calvin and Hobbs or Garfield!

My son actually liked the makeover and seems to be sleeping a little better. He hated having actual sunlight in his room at first, but after a few days he seems to be getting used to it. A little baking soda on the window sill and a spray of Fabreeze in the closet took care of the funk.

Something I saw at Target disturbed me though and I think it’s worth pointing out. I saw a full line of light blocking curtains, including ones special made for children’s rooms stating something like: “Let your kids get their sleep and block out the light!” Now just how do you think that would play with their moods, and hormonal regulation? Do you think their body may reduce Melatonin production (the chemical your body naturally makes to make you sleepy) until they can’t sleep, or wake up on their own? Just a little food for thought on how the choices you make (or don’t make) can affect your child’s health. And if you have a teen (like me), at least get them a plant and a can of Fabreeze!

What to do With Older Kids!?

2010-02-02T01:39:00.000-08:00

Every now and then I like to share some ideas of things to do and places to go in the Sacramento area with older kids. Once children hit Jr High age it seems to be a real struggle to find “family” activities that they not only don’t mind, but enjoy and look forward to. Here’s a few thoughts to get you rolling…

Go see a play at the B Street Theater

Right now there’s a great play for families with tweens, pre-teens and young adults: Intelligent Design of Jenny Chow (B3) It’s getting rave reviews and is playing till Februrary 20^th. Click Here for more info!

Go by Alpha Fired Arts

Pick your own ceramic piece, paint it and have it fired for you. An activity any age will enjoy. Click Here for more info.

Visit Evangeline’s in Old Sacramento

One of my son’s favorite places to go nestled right in the heart of old Sacramento. You could even walk under the tunnel to see a movie at the Downtown Plaza after some fun window shopping. Click here to check out Evangelines.

Spend the day in Davis

Now, I’m a little biased when it comes to things to do in Davis as it is my adopted hometown. I still swear it is the best place to find things to do with a teenager. We have a great comic book store, Bizarro World, complete with vintage arcade games ready for some play, Woodstock’s pizza with pinball and great food, the arboretum if your child enjoys nature, the Bohart Entomology center for the little scientist… you get the idea. (Click on each to go to their pages.)

Making your own jewelry/medallion/keychain together

No matter if you have a son, or daughter, they will both love all the choices at one of Sacramento’s many bead stores. Pick out your project supplies and make your creation right there with knowledgeable staff to help you all.

Learn a Hobby Together

I love taking Grizzly to an art supply store to pick something out that we’ve never done before. Clay, pastel, cards, stamps… You can find inexpensive “beginner” kits at stores like Michaels, Alphabet Moon and Aaron Brothers to play around with.

Drag them into the kitchen

An “old faithful” activity that I like to pull out (especially when the weather’s bad) is to drag Grizzly into the kitchen with me. It doesn’t matter if we’re baking, or making a nice dinner, just having our focus on a joint project often opens the door to great conversation. If you want to get really fancy (and you have a kid who doesn’t mind spending THAT MUCH time with you), you could even plan a meal together from start to finish. Grizzly loves shopping at Whole Foods in Sacramento and considers that to be quite a treat!

Sacramento Free Museum Day

This Saturday all museums in the Sacramento area are free! Take advantage and open your child’s eyes to new thoughts, ideas and beauty. We love taking in a museum or two, then getting a treat and talking about what we saw. Click Here for more info.

Lately we’ve been spending some “down” time by breaking out all Grizzly’s old Legos. He has millions and its been fun just messing around while watching TV. It’s a surprisingly relaxing pass time that we’re all enjoying “playing” with again! So use your imagination. It doesn’t take a lot of money (or even any) to keep in close contact with your older child and foster that relationship.

Education Crisis

2010-02-01T05:13:00.000-08:00

I received a letter from our Davis Joint Unified District that shocked me. Just in Davis, our schools will be short 5.6 million dollars for the 2010-11 school year. Thank you so much Mr. Schwarzenegger for putting the health, safety and education of our children first! Of course, this is just the tip of the iceberg, and I’m also only talking about Davis.

I too am in school full time this semester and am paying more, for fewer classes. Many of my classes had students spilling out the door and into the hallway, more still had no seat. There were also quite a few classes I still need for my major, but just weren’t being offered due to budget cuts and layoffs.

Just what kind of message are we sending about education? How are we making a better future for our children when they’re paying more, getting less and being made to feel like their voice doesn’t matter? Teachers are treated no better than the students, don’t get me wrong. They are under-paid, over-worked, and in some situations, under-trained and educated for their expectations.

I was telling my husband the other day how lucky we are to have Grizzly in a public charter school. We get small class size, wonderful teachers who are experts in education and their subjects and special grants and other funding that regular public schools don’t. At the huge high school I feel like my child would just be another number on a sheet. At his charter school, he’s a member of a community (as it should be!)

If I had a kindergartner right now, I’d be scared. I think I’d be unable to be in school myself, and instead would have to work full time at a job I hated just to send my son to private school, or it’d be my full time job to get an acceptable charter school off and running.

How do you parents of younger children feel who are in the public school system? Are you worried about budget cuts and class size? Do you worry at all about the future and what college will cost or if your child can even get in? Are you contemplating switching to private school after the latest budget announcement?

Still Struggling to Save

2010-01-29T00:23:00.000-08:00

We’re well into the New Year and I’m wondering how many of us are still struggling for ways to cut corners and make ends meet at home. I think it’s safe to guess the answer would be… all of us? I’m a full time student right now and thanks to furloughs at my husband’s work, we’ve had to pull those purse strings tighter than ever. With some hunting around at the bottom line however, I’ve managed to save a few more dollars than before.

Here are some easy changes we made that you may want to consider as well.

($27-30 a month savings) We dropped our long distance service and just use our cell phones for all long distance calls. We weren’t using all our minutes to begin with, but if you’re worried about your minutes, most plans have unlimited talk time after 8PM.

($30 a month savings) We switched all our regular prescriptions from getting one month supply at a time to three months supply at a time. This saves us about $10 per prescription co-pay fees.

($20-$30 a month savings) Just by purchasing our staple items in bulk (eggs, coffee creamer, butter, olive oil) we save this much per month easily. Dairy items are WAY cheaper when bought in bulk at discount warehouse shops vs. your local supermarket, even with a coupon and on sale. Especially true if you buy organic dairy.

($90 a month savings) We cut our cable off 100% back in October 09 and never missed it. We belong to Netflix, watch Hulu and have other entertainment options. We also –gasp- READ much more than we used to (and the library is a great source of free entertainment!)

($600 a year savings) We raised the deductable on our homeowners and auto insurance policies. If you choose to do this, you will indeed save money, just try and make sure you have enough in your savings to cover your deductable amount in case of an emergency.

Here are a few other quick miscellaneous tips:

-Use a water filter and your own bottle rather than buying pre-bottled water. This savings will add up quickly!

-Invest in a new washer and dryer. You’ll get a great rebate on an Energy Star washer and save a ton on your water and electric bill in the long run.

-Line dry your laundry when the weather is nice.

-Re-negotiate contracts (memberships, insurance rates, mortgages…)

-If you’re a student (or have one in college) apply for student aid and scholarships.

-Open the curtains and turn off the lights.

-Unplug devices you aren’t using (and turn off power bars)

-Pack your lunch (kids too!)

-Make your own cleaning products rather than sinking money in expensive (and often harmful) store brand cleaners.

-Make your own coffee or tea in the morning rather than picking some up on the way (save that just for a special treat.)

-Make thoughtful gifts rather than buying them (like brownies or scented bath salts.)

-Look second hand before you buy new. Smart for the earth and easy on your wallet!

No One Told Me

2010-01-27T04:06:00.000-08:00

No one told me that to live with a teenager means having a constant ball of fear, worry and anxiety coiled like a serpent in the pit of your gut.

No one told me how fast that little baby would grow. How one day it would be a free-thinking adult who might have ideas and opinions of their own (that maybe don’t mesh with yours?)

No one told me that one harshly chosen word spewed in the heat of anger at you from your child could pierce through your well constructed armor and get you right in the heart.

No one told me that everyone else in your life, even you, would drop by the wayside like so much shed skin once you hold that baby in your arms and look in their eyes.

No one told me how hard this person would make me laugh, how raw they would make me feel or how fiercely I could fight, when I knew I was fighting for them.

No one told me how things like dust and laundry don’t mean a thing when there are Lego’s to be played with and play dough to make.

No one told me how small the window of learning is in your child and how even smaller is the window where they think you’re right!

No one told me to count every kiss, savor every hug and catch every wave to enjoy later when the world seems cold and unfriendly.

No one told me being a mother would be so messy, painful, beautiful, draining and thrilling a journey as it is. I guess there are some things words just can’t say…

Whats in a Name?

2010-01-24T23:27:00.000-08:00

Thanks to everyone who played along with my “new nickname for mancub” blog. The son previously called man cub had a wonderful sweet 16 on January 23^rd and is “man cub” no longer.

Since he started off life being called “baby bear,” moved onto “little bear” and then to “man cub,” it seemed obvious that the new “older” name also have something to do with bears. I loved ntownsend’s suggestion of “Grizzly Atom” and decided to go with Grizzly. He does in fact often act like a grizzled old man, so I loved the double meaning of the word.

Grizzly bears are rare, and my kid’s one in a million. He’s also at least 6’4 now, and that also fit. I’ve always considered myself a mama bear when it comes to my son, so it’s a perfect name now that he is his own fish chowing grizzly (surprisingly accurate!)

So, without further ado… man cub will now be blogged as Grizzly (or Griz, depending on my level of silliness for the day.) A much more fitting name for my cub-no-more.

Family (non)Communication

2010-01-21T00:59:00.000-08:00

If you have an older child, the thought of “family communication” most likely calls forth a deluge of nausea and makes you want to reach for your wine glass. Am I right? I secretly consider the phrase to be a bit of an oxymoron. How can a family with a teen really COMMUNICATE together?

Despite any pre-conceived notions I had about our family’s communication style pre-puberty (foolishly thinking we all had it covered and were pro’s by now), I’m learning we know Jack. When your child hit’s that wonderful stage of life, most communications grind to a halt. They “read into” everything you say and do, you second guess everything you say and do, their hormones are in full swing and your nerves are raw. In short, this makes for salted earth to grow a healthy relationship in. I’m learning that to have effective family communication, you need to think on your toes, change with the tide and not be married to any one technique.

Recently man cub has been putting us through the ringer. Much of the issues have been stemming from either mis communication, or a total lack of it. Add the fact that he has Aspergers Syndrome to the mix and you have the ingredients for a catastrophe. I’ve had to take a big step back, cue up Google, and find new and more effective strategies for us all to communicate with each other because what we were trying wasn’t working. I like that old saying that the true definition of insanity is doing the exact same thing over and over again and expecting a different result each time.

What wasn’t working was my husband and I showing our united front and talking “at” (even if we thought it was “to”) man cub together. What also wasn’t working was this grilling “we need to talk” atmosphere of us all in one room boring holes in each others heads with our eyes. How could we expect man cub to come to us with anything if this was the kind of audience he would get? He wasn’t, and I’m sure this would continue if we didn’t change our “communication style" with him. The next time we needed “to talk” I asked man cub if he’d rather talk to me, or dad. Dad was picked and I left the room. This turned out to be a great move and a lot of headway was made. No more 2:1, lesson learned.

Thanks to a great site I found regarding parenting teenagers with Aspergers I’m also implementing these changes.

1) We now have a family “Communication Book.” It’s simply a binder full of blue paper (blue is soothing) where we can write notes to each other. It can be something as simple as “I missed you today” or something man cub wants to tell us, but doesn’t want to (or feel comfortable) talking about. I told him he can write down that he doesn’t want to talk about it and we won’t even bring up what he shared. It's kept in the middle of the coffee table at all times.

2) No “interrogation” style talks. Kids with AS not only feel uncomfortable giving eye contact, they don’t like getting it. This makes a lot of sense when I remember how all our best conversations take place in the car or on walks (no eye contact.) I told man cub if he wants’ to “talk” with us while doing other things (walking, playing a video game, etc…) we’re fine with that and don’t need the eye contact either. What he’s thinking, saying and feeling are much more important to us than where anyone’s looking.

He loved both these changes and yesterday was the best day we’d had as a family since before Christmas. If you have an older child who suffers from any kind of anxiety, I suggest giving them a try! It’s never too late to teach an old parent some new tricks. Especially if it will keep the communication lines open.

Family Time TV

2010-01-18T23:22:00.000-08:00

I never quite realized until recently how having a family TV show helps us bond with our teen. We’re not really “TV people” and we watch less than most people I know, but being able to all three sit down and laugh together is a really important part of what keeps us all close and stress-free.

Upon reflection, I realized this was also true when I myself was an adolescent. It seems the only time we weren’t all fighting and I didn’t hate my parents was when the Cosby Show or Family Ties came on. No teenager wants to spend too much time with their parents, but when the soft glow of the TV comes on and ice cream comes out, they suddenly transform back into that little child who wants to spend every waking moment with you. It’s like…magic!

Our favorite family shows have varied through the years. It began with Little Bear and I Love Lucy, and then eventually progressed to Big Bang Theory and 30 Rock. All have one thing in common, they make us laugh. The family that laughs together can get through anything together. Or so I’ve come to believe. When times get tough and you can cut the teen tension with a knife, nothing makes us forget our stress quite like 30minutes spent side-by-side on our cozy couch bonding over what Liz Lemon is up to this week.

Need New Name

2010-01-17T06:36:00.000-08:00

Man Cub will turn 16 next Saturday and I feel silly continuing to call him “Man Cub” in my blog. I’m looking for a new name.

Please post a comment below on what you think I should start calling this quickly maturing offspring of mine when I blog about him! All comments will be considered and I really will pick one to replace “Man Cub.”

I’d like to have a new nickname picked by his birthday on Jan. 23^rd.

Good Luck!

Just Do It!

2010-01-15T00:06:00.000-08:00

No, I’m not talking about exercise, or following your dreams or anything as big as that. I’m talking about finding the time to socialize.

For me, there’s always something going on, always a reason why I can’t make time to see my friends. These past few weeks however, “Just Do It” has been my motto. I sent out an Evite to some friends for a “girl’s tea” at my place today. I knew it would be a bad time for all of them (weekday morning), but it was good for me, so I just did it. I needed a treat after our big school meeting yesterday (big assessment for man cub that only happens every three years.) I wanted to relax, sip tea and nibble scones with whoever could make it. Lucky for me, two of my girls can!

I also really wanted to see one of my good friends this week. Have a little girl time. She has two little girls, works full time and has a life bursting at the seams. Still, we managed to squeeze in some mid-week evening time at her place. We both “Just Did It.” Or as we may say in our house (because we like to be silly), “I Doos It!”

There is never a good time to get together with your friends, to make a call, to meet up with someone for an hour. You just have to see a crack of opportunity and “Do It.” It’s a great way to refill your tank after a long break without “adult time.”

Re-Thinking Only

2010-01-13T01:20:00.000-08:00

I was an only child. My son is an only child, as is my cousin. This makes for a very small close-knit family. I always looked at this as a positive, but lately I’m wondering… is it? Is being an only child really such a good thing?

Your parents have more money and time just for you. You get to experience things children with siblings never will. Man cub has a suit, has eaten at some amazing restaurants, had his mom around almost full time and got to enjoy growing up in a home his parents own. None of these things would have been possible for us if he had siblings. However, he also gets all of our focus and attention (for better, or worse) and as parents, it’s easy to lose our perspective. That attention can mutate to hyper vigilance without even meaning to.

He’s grown up to believe that everything we do, we do for him (a fact he obviously enjoys.) He’s been indulged and made the center of attention so many times that at this point he believes that’s how the world works. And we, tend to think everything that happens is a huge deal (again, for better or for worse.)

I actually wanted more children when man cub was still a cub. It was my husband who didn’t. As man cub grew and we learned he had Aspergers Syndrome, I breathed a sigh of relief that we didn’t. I knew I couldn’t be the advocate I needed to be for him and juggle more than one child, possibly even two with a disability. Some people can do this beautifully, I personally know my limits. Now, in the tenth grade and going through the roller coaster of drama and emotions, I find myself wishing we had a little more balance.

I’m not finding this balance in having another child in our home; I am finding it in reaching out and networking more. Joining other chat rooms of parents with special needs teenagers, attending monthly meetings and support groups for parents with special needs kids, heck! Even just talking with other moms here always helps my compass point north again.

Do I wish I would have had another child? Sometimes. I do think we made the right choice for our family, and hopefully the right choice for man cub. I know that it’s given me the tiny bit of space I needed to find myself, yet remain a devoted mother and wife.

Smoothing Food Time

2010-01-11T06:02:00.000-08:00

I was raised that whenever the “shiznit” hit the fan, it was time to break out the soothing food. At our house it’s called “smoothing” as that’s how man cub used to say “soothing” and I liked it so much better that it stuck.

Some of my childhood “smoothing” foods were orange smoothies (orange juice with orange sherbet in a blender) served up alongside tomato soup with crushed black pepper and Ritz crackers. This comfort food got me through tough times alongside a box of Kleenex.

Little changes in the world of the mom out to sooth her man cub. Now a box of Puff’s Plus with Aloe is the preferred tissue. Peanut M&M’s serve the necessary chocolate requirement, while still looking out for your protein needs. High carb meals loaded with love (and olive oil) usually make the list, as does anything with bacon on it, or in it. I think that fatty grease is like a balm for your heart.

I have yet to meet someone who reaches for the salad bowl in times of distress (though I do know many who go for a run.) Why is it that the rich foods are the ones that make you feel so much better inside? We all know that frozen yogurt doesn’t mend a broken heart nearly as fast as chocolate cake, or our old buddies Ben & Jerry’s. Why is that? What comfort food do you reach for when you need smoothing?

Productive Procrastination

2010-01-08T00:07:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have a to do list so long that you just take on a big project instead? That’s been the story of my week this week. I think part of it is an effort to not send man cub away to boarding school for the remainder of his teen years. Part of it is avoidance of exercise (I’ve been really bad about that this week), part is avoidance of two big projects that have been at the top of my to do list since before the holidays. I think part is also just nervous energy about being a full time student in a few weeks. Whatever it is, my house has never looked better, or been more organized.

Every day I’ve been taking on a new project with the house. Feeling a sudden overwhelming urge to organize and re-arrange something. Little DIY projects that have been bugging me for years now need to be taken care of right away. I know I’m not alone in this ritual. In times of stress all the women in my family take to feathering their nest. I know for a fact before any large family gathering my aunt takes to cleaning out her junk drawer rather than starting with the most obvious need on her to do list. A classic case of productive procrastination.

What I really need to do is just get my dang shoes on, go out for a run, then sit down at the computer and knock out the proposals that I’m avoiding. But my vacuum really could use a good cleaning out today…

Planning is my best friend

2010-01-06T01:47:00.000-08:00

I’m a planner by nature. Not spontaneous at all. The more I know about what’s coming around the bend and the more I have planned for it, the better I feel. This isn’t to say that I don’t “think on my toes” because I think all moms do this. I just like having and knowing the plan.

This is one comfort about being a student rather than working full time. In school you know what classes you’re taking, what you’ll need, you get a syllabus and have dates to circle on your calendar. Not so with a full time job. My school starts in a few weeks and like a marathon runner in training, I’m gearing up for it.

I have a new desk, (thank you SPCA thrift store!) my schedule, my books and feel pretty ready. Like a general giving that last speech before heading into battle, I just need to prepare my family. I’m going to be doing a lot more meal planning, bulk weekend cooking, breaking out ol’ crock pot and expecting everyone to pitch in and pull their weight. As much as my boys love me, this may be tough change from the mom who cooked everyone a full breakfast every morning and dinner every night, to suddenly fending for themselves. I’m convinced with lots of communication however, we can do it!

Running and exercise are an important piece of my stress release these days (as is bacon.) With my crazy new schedule of full time school, I’ve already sat down and written out what I need to do every minute of every day to fit it all in. Am I screaming “control freak” yet? Don’t worry, I won’t be offended.

Of course I know life doesn’t really run on a schedule and what I’ve laid out for myself is more a “best case scenario” or “guideline” rather than set in stone. How do you work at your best? Any tips for busy moms that you swear by? I always love hearing how other people do it all.

Overnight

2010-01-04T00:57:00.000-08:00

Something I will never get used to as a parent is how man cub seems to grow and change overnight. You’d think this would stop, or even slow down once the big checkpoints are hit like walking, talking, starting school, etc… Instead I’m finding that it apparently never stops.

During the holiday break man cub went from cub to 100% man overnight. It was as if someone flipped a switch in his brain and suddenly he didn’t need us nearly as much anymore (I know he still needs us, despite what he may think.) Even though it was a wonderful Christmas, there definitely was family tension. He’s a young man now and wants certain freedoms and liberties. I’m used to being the mother of a boy and still have a tendency to “over-mother” him. Yesterday I decided we all needed to have some communication time.

I called a family meeting to talk about some changes. I told man cub that he was communicating with me through his actions that he feels he’s ready for more freedom and adult responsibilities. I told him that I was hearing him loud and clear and was happy to comply, but we needed to work a few things out.

First I told him that I expect him to complete his daily responsibilities on his own (w/o nagging from me.) I told him he needs to pick a system for doing these items where I can just look and see that they’re done (and where he also gets a visual reminder.) He decided a check-list system posted on the fridge would be the best way to do this. A simple spread sheet for the week with a box he can mark off when done. We’re talking very simple things; taking out the trash, feeding the dogs, taking his pills, etc… The heart of his responsibilities. We also decided that he would get 3 warnings every 2 weeks if he doesn’t stick with the deal. After 3 its no screens at all for a week.

If he keeps up his end, I will not nag, give him privacy and let him make more of his own choices (like how much soda to drink, what to wear to school, etc…) I cannot begin to tell you how hard that is for me. To give up control and let him make his own choice. It’s like watching your baby bird fly right into a window, but knowing you can’t save him all the time.

The talk went really well and this morning was the first day of our new deal. I started to backslide a little when he wanted to wear a top hat to school (the one in the picture, a gift from his cousin.) Luckily my husband was there to remind me that these are the very power struggles that don’t matter and he should have control of. Thank goodness I have him to help me through this!

Oh, and on the girlfriend front, the hicky lasted longer than the relationship. I think we’re both learning a lot and growing. I’m just being forced to do it overnight too.

Best Holiday Ever

2009-12-31T02:14:00.000-08:00

My family and I had our best Christmas yet. It wasn’t because of the gifts (which were great), or the food (which was indeed amazing). The spirit of the holiday caught hold of us early and held on the whole time.

This year we seemed to have time for all the old traditions we love; cutting down our own tree, decorating the house, sipping cocoa and hot cider, watching our favorite Christmas movies, but even found time for some new ones.

Thanks to furloughs, this is the first year my husband has been able to take so much time off of work around the holidays, two weeks straight to be exact. I actually loved it! Everything went at a slower pace and we all just savored each day as it came. We went for daily walks together, drove around as a family to look at holiday lights in our neighborhood, went to Old Sacramento and saw their holiday show and did all of our shopping together. Not only that, but yesterday we all three un-decorated the house (something that I always do on my own and used to take me a full day.) There was an easy sense of togetherness this Christmas that I don’t think I’ve felt before.

I hope all of your holiday season was as perfect. Enjoy the “blue moon” out tonight!

The Next Step

2009-12-28T03:29:00.000-08:00

If man cub could have wished for anything in the world for Christmas, I think he would have wished for a girlfriend. A beautiful, kind, funny girlfriend who’s crazy about him. Well, just two days before Christmas, he got that wish. She’s stunning, sweet and nuts about him. They’ve known each other for about a year now, but she doesn’t go to his school. They’re the same age and her mother doesn’t let her date. This doesn’t keep them from dating, it just makes for interesting one-sided phone calls on her cell. When they aren’t together in-person, they’re texting each other all the time.

I got to meet her for the first time the other day. Before she came over I told man cub they were welcome to hang out in the game room. There’s a TV in there with a comfy couch. I said it was cool with me if they even wanted to close the door, just nothing more than kissing though (I believe in being direct.) I told him they need to know each other way better and that he needs to be a gentleman and keep it to kissing. He rolled his eyes, sighed and said that was the plan.

Apparently the plan was also to take her straight to his room and close the door, something I wasn’t expecting (nor did I tell him not to.) I could hear them talking, so I let it go for a while. When it got too quiet however, I gave a knock and told man cub to come here. When he emerged from his room he was sporting a dark hickey the size of a golf ball on the side of his neck. Hmmmm, I guess that does still count as kissing? I told him I wasn’t comfortable with them in his bedroom and he needs to take it to the game room. He was good about it and they did just that. No further issues.

Of course, all of this made me remember when I was a teenager and how quickly hormones take over your brain. He’ll be sixteen at the end of January and let’s just say that he’s taking things much slower than I did at his age. Yes, I wish I could seal him in a time capsule till I thought he was ready for such a sexually mature relationship (again, stick to kissing man cub!) I’m wise enough to know that I just don’t have much control over every single thing he does anymore.

I can give my opinion, input, advice, wisdom, share my morals, but at the end of the day he’s going to make his own decisions. This is the next step in his life where I can’t always be his Jiminy Cricket and I’m not sure how I feel about it.

Happy Holidays!

2009-12-23T14:29:00.000-08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS ~ HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

I hope you all have a wonderful time with your families this week. Man cub got a date for Christmas yesterday. Now that's ONE gift you can't put under the tree. I hope you have your own bit of joy, a bubble bath, glass of wine and cheer.

I'll be back to blogging next week!

A Coronary for Christmas

2009-12-21T11:22:00.000-08:00

The other day man cub came home and asked me point blank if he could get his lip pierced. After overcoming my immediate urge to scream “NEVER” in his face and lock him in his room till 40, I calmly explained why that was a terrible idea. Dental health, infection, job prejudices, plus you have to be 18 to get one anyway. As long as I explain my reasons in a way he understands (not just “because I said so!”) he listens really well.

After our talk about how that’s just never going to happen (as long as I have some say over it), I mentioned that I was pretty sure they make fake ones. His interest perked up at that. I told him I would be totally fine with the idea of him getting a fake one to surprise his friends and pretend that he had it done. No pain, no infections, can be removed whenever… win win. Somehow this concept of getting a fake lip ring turned into a prank idea on my husband.

I told my son that the best place I could think of to buy a fake piercing was Evangelines in Old Sacramento. Turns out, I had been wanting to go there anyway to see their new holiday light show (it was excellent by the way. If you get a chance, I really suggest making the trip to see it.) Yesterday was the big day. All three of us piled in the car and made our way to Old Sacramento and K Street.

My husband becomes quickly overwhelmed and bored in Evangelines, so he soon left us to window shop while he went to Take 9 across the street. This was our big chance! We bought the fake lip ring (not sure if that’s what it was intended for, but it worked great.) I slipped it on him and we rehearsed a few times. The stage was now set.

We walked into Take 9 with man cub covering his mouth with his hand. I told my husband, “Honey, don’t be mad but I have something to tell you.” Then I said how man cub had talked to me the other day about wanting a piercing and I decided it wasn’t that big a deal. That we knew he’d be mad, so we ducked out to the Tattoo shop a few doors down and had it done just now. Then man cub dropped his hand to show off the new lip ring. My husband looked like a fish out of water. Silence is the worst kind of mad there is. Man cub (not wanting his dad to suffer too long) bursts out laughing and tells him it’s fake. We all had a good laugh about the prank on dad.

One thing however… I had actually told my husband about the planned prank a few days before and being the wonderful father that he is, he went along with it for man cub. See, there are funny pranks, then there are pranks that could end with a Christmas coronary. I knew the piercing would look pretty real (check out the pictures here!) and I didn’t want a DOA hubby for the holidays. It was a pretty good trick however; one that man cub’s looking forward to pulling on all the family this week.

Late Bloomers

2009-12-19T00:39:00.000-08:00

Did you know that J.K. Rowling was in her 30’s when the first Harry Potter book was published? Did you know that Laura Ingalles Wilder didn’t start seriously writing till she was in her 40’s and was well into her 60’s when the first Little House on the Prairie book was published? Did you know that Julia Child was 36 when she first enrolled in Le Cordon Bleu? So what’s wrong with being a late bloomer anyway? Who gets to say when you’re too old to follow your dream?

When we first moved to Davis (about nine years ago now) people would ask me if I was a student all the time. My reaction was to laugh, thank them, and tell them I was too old. Boy was I wrong! On January 19^th I start my first day of being a full time student. I’m still chipping away at my transfer requirements, but hope to be at UC Davis in a year or two. My goal… a PhD. I know I can do it too!

It’s never too late to follow your dreams. Grandma Moses was well into her 70’s before she found any kind of fame for her art. She lived to be 101 years old and had great acclaim and success. Just listen to your heart, be kind to yourself and treat yourself as you would your beloved children. You’re never too old and you CAN do anything!

Click Here for a good article on Late Bloomers.

Nag-Free Wednesday

2009-12-17T08:58:00.000-08:00

As promised, here’s the follow up report about our “nag free Wednesday.” Turns out, it was a brilliant idea! I’m tossing confetti in the air (not really, who wants’ to vacuum?) and patting myself on the back for coming up with that one.

To recap, man cub pointed out (and risked his own life in the process) that I had been rather naggy lately. In spite of my gut reaction to deny the accusation, he was right. I told him to pick a “nag free” day, and he chose yesterday. The goal was to tell him things only one time rather than again and again. I was convinced he would drop the ball BIG TIME! Once again, I overlooked how he loves to prove me wrong.

He woke up on his own, on time, without so much as a peep from me. Made his own breakfast, fed the dogs, took out trash, took his pills and made his lunch. Yes, I too thought aliens or elves must have replaced my child in the middle of the night with some perfect being not of this world. It was a holiday miracle!

Nag free Wednesday went over so well that we’ve extended it to nag free Thursday. I have yet to repeat myself once. Oh the thrills of a nag free life! I’ve learned that I was underestimating him and he’s learned how much better it is to go through your day independent without being nagged. Now hopefully we’ll make it all the way to nag free Friday!

Best or Worst?

2009-12-14T00:11:00.000-08:00

The Hogwarts teachers don’t have anything on us moms. To be a good parent, you need to be a magician. “Poof!” I’m your friend, tell me anything. “POOF!” I’m the disciplinarian teaching you right from wrong. “Poof!” I’m the head chef of a four star restaurant. “POOF!” I’m a professional organizer. Well, you get the idea. I think this rings even more true when you’re the parent of a teen.

Every day is a roller coaster ride of emotions and unexpected turns with man cub. “Will I get the sigh/eye roll combo today or will he be pleasant and respectful? Will he do what’s expected or will I need to pull out the cop hat and whistle?” I feel like a runner poised at the starting gate, but not knowing if it’s a sprint or a marathon that I’m needed for today.

Lately it seems man cub can’t make a single move without being reminded. “Feed the dogs, take out trash, take your bath, go to bed…” Did I mention he’ll be 16 at the end of January? Last week he dared to utter the dreaded words “You’ve been nagging me a lot lately.” Did you gasp? Picture a black and white movie where the camera pans in tight to the mothers narrowing eyes? Yes, I was also stunned at his bravery in calling a spade a spade. I snap back with “WELL… if you would REMEMBER to do what you’re RESPONSIBLE for, then I wouldn’t have to tell you 100 TIMES!!!” He was right though, we’re caught in a vicious cycle of him not doing what he needs to do and me nagging him about it. I chewed on that for a few days and came up with a plan.

“Pick a day next week” I said “Where I will only tell you things ONCE. It will be nag free day and we’ll see how it goes. I’ll wake you up once, call you to eat once, remind you of something only once.” GREAT!” He said “Next Wednesday.” Yes, I am most curious how it will turn out. Will he get to school on time? Bring a lunch? Feed the dogs? Remember his school bag? It’s either the best idea I’ve ever had or the worst, I’ll keep you all posted either way!

Sick Day for Mom

2009-12-11T07:51:00.000-08:00

Any busy mom will tell you that there’s no such thing as a sick day for her. Other family members can get sick, stay in bed, be taken care of… but for some reason the world seems to come crashing down if mom does this. Am I right? Like most moms this means that when I get sick, I pretend it’s not happening.

Man cub was home Monday and Tuesday from school (5^th time this year) sick with a cold. I did the mom chant of “Let me not catch this one!” Sprayed everything with Lysol, took my vitamin C and kept my fingers crossed. In spite of my best efforts, this stupid cold bit me in the nose and brought me down. Not hard, but hard enough to make it difficult to ignore and carry on with my day.

I managed to pretend it was fine on Tuesday and Wednesday, but come Thursday I knew I had to give myself a sick day. I had made it through the “must do” part of my week and was ready to take a –gasp- day off to recover. The sad thing is that I’m still trying to remember just how to take care of myself.

I asked myself “What would I do for man cub if he was home sick?” Number 1 on my list? Make myself a big healthy breakfast (I almost didn’t even notice that I was hungry!) Now, I do try and eat breakfast every day, but it will be a banana, oatmeal, cereal, boiled egg… I’ve NEVER in my life made a really nice breakfast just for myself. I decided that was what I needed. I made myself a healing, hearty breakfast of sautéed spinach, mushroom and garlic omelet, bacon, toast, big glass of OJ (with Calcium and vitamin D of course!) Topped off with a steaming hot cup of herbal tea. Check out the picture if you don’t believe me! (I had to record this moment so I remember how to take care of myself in the future.)

I ate my breakfast, put on my coziest jammies and socks and vegged in front of old movies all day. It was glorious. The only problem is, I feel a little worse today (I think it’s graduated into a sinus infection). I couldn’t afford another “sick day,” but I’m anticipating a sick evening where my boys can take care of ME for a change!

No One Told Me

2009-12-08T00:40:00.000-08:00

No one told me that when you get off your tush and actually start to exercise after not doing so for… um… a while… that your skin would look like a teenager who fell asleep with their face in a bowl of bacon. I mean really! What gives!?

About three days after beginning my new exercise routine (jog/walking every other day, gym cross training every other day), my face decided to join the holiday season and erupt in red bumps bigger and brighter than Rudolph’s nose. The feeling reminded me a lot of when I was first pregnant with man cub.

No one told me that when you’re pregnant you still have cramps. Cramps so bad and for so long it feels like your worst period, but goes on way past seven days. No one told me that your skin would break out in lovely pimples. No one told me that even a shirt would make your chest ache (Is that what they were implying by the word “sensitive?” Because that’s not exactly the adjective I’d have picked!)

I’ve been reading quite a few “running for women” books lately, just like I read all the “What to Expect” books when I was first expecting. Not ONE mentioned the hideous eruptions (that according to the internet are very common) that would plague my face and neck for a month. The only thing that made them go away was a combination of liver detox tea, lymph massage, Epsom salt baths, green clay face mask and tea tree oil acne spot treatment. Oh yeah, aren’t you wallowing in jealousy at the fun I’ve been having? I smell woodsier than a Christmas tree lot. FINALLY it’s all starting to even out.

So, head’s up ladies! Working out hard after being sedentary for a…bit… won’t instantly bring on a rosy glow. Unless you count exfoliating till you have no skin left a “rosy glow.” I won’t even mention the sty or fever blister. I don’t want to scare off anyone nuts enough to follow in my footsteps of newfound fitness. Just know it’s all temporary and in spite of my whining, worth it.

Here’s the best advice that either I read, or people DID tell me for someone new to fitness.

~ Get good shoes for what you’re doing. Go to a real fitness store and have them help you. There are too many on the market for a beginner to know what works best and it’s helpful to have a proper fitting. You’ll save yourself from possible injury at worst, black toenails at best.

~ Start off on a soft surface like a field. I love to run/walk on a soccer field by my house. The grass is taken care of and the surface is very easy on my joints. I tried to graduate to cement this weekend and was rewarded with shin splints.

~ If you’re working so hard that you wouldn’t be able to have a light conversation, you need to scale it back.

~ Try and find a rhythm with your breaths.

~ Drink lots of water! Wear sun block and lip balm if you’re going to be outside during the day.

~ I love Target’s athletic pants. They come in all sizes, shapes and lengths (even plus size + tall!) They fit great, are cheap and don’t fall down when running.

~ Dress in layers so you can take off what you don’t need once you warm up. I like a hat, gloves, long sleeved shirt over a t (but I warm up fast.)

~ Use Epson Salts in the bath after a run to help reduce swelling, edema and keep the sore muscles happier.

~ Eat as healthy as possible and take good care of your skin!

Break With Tradition

2009-12-06T01:23:00.000-08:00

Every year since moving to Davis my family and I go to the same tree farm in Dixon. Every year their prices seemed to be going up and up. This year my husband had a strange suggestion. A break with tradition!

Now I may come off as all adventurous and up for trying new things, but that’s all a facade. Just ask my husband. If I go to a restaurant and order something I really like, you can bet I will order it every time we go there. If we go somewhere to get our Christmas tree and we enjoy the experience, that’s where we will get our tree for the next eight years. To go out to a new tree farm, especially one all the way out in Pollack Pines, was a thought that made my head hurt. “Let’s just go to our usual place and see if they have any cheaper trees on their Charley Brown lot!” I cried. (A spot on the farm where we’d been getting our trees the last few years as they were always a little funky and cheaper.) “Let’s get out of town, make a day of it and try something new!” My husband quipped. Plus he told me that ANY tree on this new farm was $20 (with our coupon from Holly’s Hill Winery.) I couldn’t argue with that beauty of a price.

Into my little Toyota RAV 4 we piled with tarp, rope and spirits high. We listened to 92.5 all the way, singing Christmas carols just like a family in some goofy holiday movie. It was wonderful. Dixie Lee Christmas Tree Farm was a far cry from the one I was used to. It was a real farm. You pulled up in front of a large house and a gravel driveway. It looks more like a friendly holiday block party (in fact most of the workers were family or neighbors.) You’re greeted by steaming cider and hot chili (both free to guests of the farm.) “Grab a saw!” a worker waved and called to us. “Any tree you like! Have a great time!” We worked our way over a little bridge and around some trails, thankful we’d worn coats and brought gloves. The beauty was breath taking. Now THIS was Christmas tree hunting!

After about twenty minutes of debating the qualities of many trees, we all agreed on one perfect one. Only problem was, some birds had agreed with us and in the spring had built a nest in our Christmas tree (how’s THAT for woodsy?!) It was obvious the nest had been empty for some time, so we carefully moved it to another tree. Two minutes later my boys had it cut down and were carrying our prize to the car.

I learned some things yesterday…

-Always keep an open mind

-Sometimes a break with “tradition” is good

-Sometimes my husband is –gasp- right

-Christmas is about spending time together

-Man cub can stand 72.5 minutes of Christmas carols before he wants to snap

From Little Bear to Man Cub

2009-12-03T01:01:00.000-08:00

WOW! It’s cold outside! When I went to sleep it was fall outside, when I woke up, it was dead of winter. Because of the chill in the air, I ended up giving man cub his Christmas gift / pea coat early. The little Vans jacket wasn’t going to cut the morning walk to school today!

Because of this, I was reminded of one of my favorite stories, Maurice Sendak’s “Little Bear.” His was a series of books that I could read over and over again. I was thrilled to discover the TV cartoon version when my own man cub was just a little bear cub. It turns out that my most beloved story was also his. The story of “I’m cold Mother Bear, I need something to put on!” (Have I totally lost you yet?) Little bear wants to go outside and play in the snow, but its cold out. He keeps coming back inside and pestering his mother for something to put on. She gives him a coat, pants and hat to put on, but he’s still cold! Turns out he only needed his fur coat and her attention to be happy.

When I gave man cub his new pea coat and saw him give a little “Hurray! Now I will not be cold!” I couldn’t help but have a little giggle and sigh of remembrance for that beloved tale. I’m grateful that we’re able to bundle up our man cub before sending him off on another day. He looked so handsome in his new coat and there’s nothing wrong with practical gifts (even if you have to give them early.)

Just For Me

2009-11-30T01:05:00.000-08:00

I’ve been “running” for a week now. I use the term “running” even though most runners would consider what I’m doing to be more of a “shuffle” or “light jog.” I must say that I’m quite proud. If you would have told me even a month ago that I’d be up at 5:30AM strapping on my running shoes and heading out the door into the dark pre-dawn to speed walk/run, I’d have laughed in your face and given you the card of a good therapist I know. But that’s just what I’m doing! I run three days a week and cross train at my gym two days a week. The other two I have family walks with the dogs and find other ways to move about.

Why this sudden focus on fitness? Am I training for some big marathon? Nope, I’m doing it just for me. This seems to be a concept lost on many people. Everyone thinks I must be pre-diabetic, am fueling a life-long dream to compete in some horrifically long run, want to lose 20 dress sizes in 20 days, or maybe just lost my mind. Truth is I like it and it makes me feel good. A simple reason, yet foreign to many. When I work out every day for at least an hour, I feel better. I feel better physically, mentally, sexually, emotionally, pretty much every way you can feel better. I swear I think even my nose is working better!

So no, I have no desire to run a marathon. No, I’m not trying to lose 1,000lbs in 10 days. No, I’m not running away from anything. I’m enjoying the quiet of the pre-dawn morning, the rhythm of my heart thumping away, the strength of my legs carrying me through the mist. I’m enjoying being alone with my thoughts for a precious hour and seeing the rosy glow in my cheeks. I’m not doing this FOR anyone or anything. I’m doing it for me. I’ve also learned that if I can get up at 5:30AM to go for a run, I can do ANYTHING!

Puce Friday

2009-11-28T01:17:00.000-08:00

I couldn’t resist the call of the 3lb Sacramento Bee stuffed to bursting with coupons on Thanksgiving Day. My husband and I strapped on our combat gear, clipped coupons for Macy’s and Michaels and hit the road ready to battle the “Black Friday" crowds. What we found really shocked us both.

At the Michaels in Woodland I browsed with ease, and then made my purchases without waiting in line at all. I thought maybe I was just lucky? Maybe 9:30AM on Friday was considered early? Maybe not many people know about this pretty new Michaels and I just lucked out? Then we got really cocky. Lulled by the promise of $2 DVD’s we decided to hit the Dixon Wal Mart off highway 80.

Fully expecting wall-to-wall people, we held our breath. The bursting cart return should have been a sign to us that people must be in hiding. Of all the stores we ventured out to yesterday, this was the one I expected to be insane. Instead, you would have thought it was just any other day. Again, we got what we needed and didn’t even wait in line to pay.

With two successful stops under our belt, we decided to brave the traffic and make the trek out to Fairfield to hit Macy’s. Our son wanted some new clothes and the coupons were really good this year (plus applicable to sale items!) Right away we got a parking spot front and center, right at the Macy’s main entrance to the Fairfield Mall. Sure there were people out shopping, but if anything I think there were less people out then usual, I was stunned! We found what we wanted (at super prices) and not only paid without waiting in line for the third time that day, but had a lovely chat with our French salesman.

The Fairfield Mall itself was far less busy than I’ve seen Arden Fair Mall any given day. Every “expensive” shop was totally empty. I actually felt a little sad for the salespeople there. All dressed up with no one to sale to. Where were the mobs of people? Were they scared away at the thought of big crowds? Making and baking this year instead of shopping? All at Arden Fair Mall and other Sacramento shops instead of the fringe areas we were at?

If you did go out yesterday, did you get some good deals? Were you scared off shopping by the idea of mobs? Are you shopping on-line? Not shopping? Or like me, were you shocked and had an easy time getting what you wanted?

Oh, and thanks Sacramento Bee! Your coupons saved me over $300 yesterday (If I would have purchased everything I got w/o using them.)

Thanks (I guess)

2009-11-25T08:07:00.000-08:00

With all the gushing sentiment that starts to flow this time of year, I thought I’d inject a little sarcasm into this cheese fest of thanks. Don’t get me wrong, of course I’m grateful, thankful and count my blessings. But come on! I can only take so much sap for one month (not counting the maple kind of course.)

With that in mind… I’m thankful for:

~ Our amazing health care system. I mean really, just think of how they’re saving us from ourselves with all these high deductibles and co-pays. If we didn’t give it to insurance companies, we’d just blow it all on candy and soda!

~ Tax’s. I’m happy to support police, fire, libraries, schools, Medicare, etc… but I can pass on putting turkey on the table of too many fat-income turkeys in politics.

~ IM’s. I love nothing better when in the middle of homework, taking an on-line class or trying to farm my carefully grown cyber crops then when someone I don’t know (most often a friend of my son’s) pop’s a little bubble up on my screen to ask me something about how life sucks. Whoever invented instant messaging deserves a special thanks from me this year.

~ Rebate forms. Oh how I love spending hours filling out forms that are simply meant to delay the process, or confuse and put off the consumer altogether, only to get some credit card in the mail with a mystery balance that is only accepted at two stores in my town. Rebates, you make me really want to help stimulate the economy.

~ Yackity Yackers. Yes! PLEASE! Answer your cell phone in the middle of an elegant restaurant, or better yet, while I work out on the treadmill next to you. How I savor your conversations and OF COURSE am dying to hear all about your friend’s divorce and the rash on your feet. Tell me more stranger!

~ Dog Aroma. Nothing lulls me to sleep quite as fast or as soundly as the nearly palatable fog that is released from my dog’s fanny. Oh dog, who needs the sweet, relaxing scent of French lavender when I have you to provide aromatherapy.

How about you? What are you “Thankful” for?

Change is SLOW!

2009-11-23T02:19:00.000-08:00

A while back I posted about wanting to change my lifestyle for the better; to continue eating healthy foods, but move my booty as well. I was doing really well with this focus, till the home repair fiascos took over my days and pocketbook. I admit, I stress ate and back-slid a little bit. In hindsight, I’m actually glad that this happened (yes, I said GLAD) because it caused me to notice something. When I don’t exercise, I don’t feel good. I don’t mean my body feels sluggish (that’s true though), or that I feel guilty about the time wasted (also true), but the most noticeable difference is that mentally I don’t feel good. I feel cranky, impulsive and impatient, like I’m stuck in a constant state of PMS… not a good way to live your day-to-day life.

Personally I need a lot of physical stimulation to feel more “balanced.” An epiphany I just had last week. With that in mind, I decided to give running a try. Being as overweight and “unconditioned” as I am, I need to go slow and really build up my skill. I’m lucky enough to live around the corner from my son’s school where they have a beautiful soccer field tucked away in the back and surrounded by trees. I’ve been strapping on my running shoes, walking over to the field and carefully learning to run over the last few days.

Returning to the land of the fit has been scarier than going back to school. It’s easy to say that it is in fact, the scariest thing I’ve done since having a baby. I think any kind of change that is voluntary (education, parenting, health) comes with a risk… a risk of failure. “What if I’m not good enough? What if I can’t do it? What if everyone knows I tried and I just couldn’t maintain it?” These are all nagging thoughts that haunt me when I attempt something new and important. To overcome these thoughts I compliment myself. I compliment myself until I physically smile. “You’re so strong! Look at you! Great job for getting out here and doing this! Your legs are working hard and your form looks really good!” Surprisingly enough, this always does the trick.

Every day now I’m putting one foot in front of the other and gasping like a fish out of water (and feel about as comfortable.) I know I will adjust, change and be doing myself and my family a favor in the end.

Here’s some great links to fitness tips for beginners!

~ Should You Eat Before or After Exercise?

~ Beginning Running Tips

~ Women's Fitness Tips

~ Great Fitness Tips for Women

~ Fitness Magazine (skip the recipie's)

Growing That Acorn

2009-11-20T00:47:00.000-08:00

There is a saying that goes, “No acorn can grow in the shade of a mighty oak.” Whoever came up with that saying was not the parent of a special needs child. To be a parent, you have to be strong, full of love and wise. To be the parent of a special needs child you need to be twice as strong, twice as wise and just as full of love. I sometimes worried that as big and strong as I was, I was keeping my own little acorn in the shade and not allowing him to grow into his own. I need worry no longer.

Man cub has been attending his IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meetings for two years now. The one we had yesterday was his third. At first the idea of having him attend filled me with dread. “Would it ruin his self esteem? Would he think there’s something wrong with him and we’re all trying to make him normal? Would he be angry? Self conscious? Confused?” It turns out man cub’s best advocate and warrior wasn’t the person I always thought it was (me), it was actually man cub. If someone said something he didn’t agree with, he let them know. If he felt he needed a service that would help him and he wasn’t already getting it, he made the suggestion. He even went so far as to correct me! His own mother/champion when he felt I got something wrong. (I guess I am wrong sometimes?)

When he was younger, my husband and I would lay in bed and ride the pendulum of worry. Would he forever live with us, or turn out to be the next Bill Gates? Would he ever be able to get and keep a job, or would he be a world famous writer? It seems our expectations were all or nothing. I’m happy to report that since then we’ve mellowed out. I still have dreams of man cub excepting a Pulitzer, or getting his PhD in classical literature, but gone are the days of fearing he may never have a partner in life or live with us forever.

It turns out that when you plant that acorn under a mighty oak, that oak tree actually cares for it as long as it’s needed. Then, sooner than you think, that acorn has become a mighty oak of its own. It thrills me to see my son stand strong and tall and be that mighty oak that I never dared to hope he could one day be.

Faith

2009-11-18T03:32:00.000-08:00

So much of parenting just comes down to having faith. I have faith that my teenage man cub won’t look up porn when he’s home alone, because we’ve had that talk and he knows the reasons behind that rule. I have faith that if his friends make stupid choices when they’re out and away from adults, that he won’t follow the herd. I have faith that man cub will respect everyone till he’s given a good reason not to. I have faith that the movie I just let him watch will be appropriate and not give him bad dreams.

Daily I go out on a limb, trust him, putting my faith in him and to my constant joy, that faith is founded. How do you know when to do this? How much faith to give? When to take it back? When is the right time to just trust that your little bird is ok out of the nest? This doesn’t just happen when your child is a teenager either… Faith starts the second they’re born. It’s an un-spoken contract between you and your child. “You hold up your end of the deal, and I’ll hold up mine.” “When I put you down for a nap, you sleep! When I let you sleep over at a friend’s house, you use your manners. When the teacher tells you to stop talking and pay attention, you do that. When I tell you that a movie isn’t ok for you to watch, you don’t watch it at a friends house.”

Like all kids, man cub has had moments where he tested his boundaries, risked my wrath and ignored common sense. During these times I just remind myself what a good kid he is and that a big part of learning is screwing up. There are some things in life however that we need to learn and never screw up with; Sex, driving, saying “no” to drugs and other dangers just being a few. To those of you with tiny ones at home, these concerns may still seem far away. Let me assure you that they come knocking on your door WAY sooner than you’d like. All I can do is prepare as best I can, let him know that I have faith and educate him to make smart choices. Then convince myself that I did my job well, have faith that he’ll be fine and let go. Easier said than done!

Need vs Want

2009-11-16T03:06:00.000-08:00

Why are those two little words so hard? I NEED a glass of water, I WANT those new earrings. I NEED sleep, I WANT a manicure. Just how and where do you draw the line between a want and a need? To complicate matters even more, a lot of it really depends on your culture.

In America, most of us NEED a car and gas to make it go. In other countries, you may just WANT a car (or not) and get along just fine without it. In America most of us also NEED our own space as an adult; our own house, apartment, etc. just for our family. In other countries, that may not be the case. In India, women NEED gold jewelry, it’s not a question of want. It’s such a huge part of their culture and financial savings that you have to have it.

In trying to keep to our budget I ask that want or need question about almost everything. Do we NEED cable TV? Nope? Then bye bye. Do we NEED fabric softener that smells like French lavender? Nope? Ok then. However, I’m finding there are some things that I only want, but have a reaction like I need them. Like those Kate Spade Gumdrop Stud earrings that called out my name this weekend. I called my husband to ask if I could treat myself. His question to me was “Do you NEED them?” Even though I felt the need deep down in the pit of my stomach, my brain kicked in and I had to answer “No. I don’t NEED them, I WANT them.” Then, like a two year old I felt a little teary knowing I would have to just walk away. This is not a month for wants.

Rather than fill my wants with material things, I’m trying to re-train myself to think of some needs AS wants. I WANT to go to the gym! (I say that to myself every day and sometimes I even believe it!) I WANT to eat healthy foods and cook nice meals for my family. I WANT to have a clean house… you get the idea. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. If not, then I try and find a little want that I CAN say “Yes” to. “I WANT a small mocha at Starbucks. I WANT a bubble bath and a piece of dark chocolate.”

For the record, I e-mailed my husband a link to the Kate Spade website and told him I NEED the earrings for either Christmas, or my birthday. I felt that was a fair compromise.

A Tight Budget Holiday

2009-11-12T00:33:00.000-08:00

What’s a family on furlough to do with the holidays around the corner? How can you cut a tight budget even tighter? These are questions I find myself asking these days, but I think I found an answer.

Along with making a lot of my gifts this year (baking goodies mostly), I’m going to forgo the splurge with man cub and my husband and instead start treasure hunting. No, not with a metal detector at the beach, but in our local area thrift stores.

If you’re like me, than the very word “thrift store” brings up a multitude of sensory memories. Dark, dirty, smelly, greasy… none of them pleasant. I’m happy to say however that the thrift stores of our childhood aren’t what you’ll find today. Besides saving a lot of money, most thrift stores also have a cause they give that money right back to. In our house, we call that “win-win.”

I’ll be keeping my eye out for a black trench coat that man-cub wants (and of course, trick it out a little once I get it), anything black and velvet for my cousin and perhaps a game or two for my husband. Here are a few of my favorite local thrift stores and why I think they kick Macy’s butt any day of the week.

(Please feel free to share your own favorite second hand store! The more tips, the merrier the season, and your wallet!)

1) Deseret Industries Thrift Store

3000 Auburn Blvd

Sacramento, CA 95821

(916) 482-1480

* This place is HUGE, clean, well lit and has everything. I adore how the clothes are organized by color. If I owned and ran a thrift store, it would look just like this. Prices range and I’ve never left here empty handed. Especially great place to find clothes.

2) Eco Thrift

7305 Greenback Ln

Citrus Heights, CA 95621-5530

(916) 729-8474

* This store is just as big as Deseret, but not quite a bright and clean. Some of the prices can be a little high (in my opinion), but it’s still worth the trip for the treasure you can find there. Like Desert, they carry a huge variety of items. They also lean towards the kitsch and collectable more than Desert.

3) Renaissance Fine Consignment

2362 Fair Oaks Blvd.

Sacramento, CA 95825

(916) 485-4911

* The difference between a consignment store and a thrift store is that people donate items to a thrift store, but sale items (sharing the profit) with a consignment store. This is without a doubt the best consignment store EVER. We’re talking name brand only. Coach, Prada, Chanel, Jimmy Chu… all at a fraction of the cost.

4) SPCA Thrift Store

1517 E St

Sacramento, CA 95814

(916) 442-8118

* There’s more than 1 SPCA Thrift Store, but this one is the most centrally located. Call to check on special sales (they often have 50% off days), or bring grandma for the senior discount! A great place for toys, games and books.

5) Once Upon A Child

3186 Arden Way

Sacramento, CA 95825

(916) 488-8861

* A consignment chain with many locations (this is just one), it can be a GREAT place to not only find a bargain, but to make some holiday cash quick by selling your old baby items. I bought and sold many things back in the day to them and never had a complaint. Why buy new when your little one will be done with it in a few short months? Save the earth, and some bucks by going second hand.

The Play Priority

2009-11-10T00:01:00.000-08:00

I was talking with a group of mothers this weekend who all have kids under six years old. They were sharing their concern with the new school standards and the lack of “play time.” I very much share that concern. What’s more important, that a Kindergartner knows how to write a full sentence, or that they know how to share? That they have the fine motor skills to cut with scissors, or can give you back correct change? According to state standards, social skills, gross and fine motor development take a backseat to “learning” by completion of "worksheets." Since when did kids stop learning through play?

This new attitude (or is it really new?) in the school system concerns me greatly. I like to think that after school, we make up for it by letting the kids play away the rest of the day… but we all know that’s not how it goes. They could go from school straight to other structured classes for MORE learning (who doesn’t want their kid to get ahead), tutoring, sports, theater… If they’re one of the lucky ones who actually just get free play time after school, what are the playing with?

I saw in the Target holiday toy insert this Sunday something that really surprised me. All of the typical “toys,” such as play dough, Lego, bikes and books were in the very back of the catalog. What was at the front were “toys” that kept kids glued to screens. Doll’s with USB ports (that one surprised me), video games and battery operated ride-on cars (who needs to learn to peddle?) filled the first few pages.

My concern is this; what kind of children are we raising? Ones who can only share feelings through Facebook and texting on their iPhones? Ones who can’t cut with scissors or wrap a gift till they’re 20? Ones who don’t know the concept of teamwork, compromise or sharing? Ones who never feel the strings of a guitar, taste home made play dough or learn what happens when you jump from the top of the slide rather than slide?

We’re encouraging perfection at the expense of actual learning. We’re replacing real life experiences with cyber generated ones. We’re letting our kid’s avatar live out what they should be doing in the real world. We’re spraying their little lives with Lysol and sticking a pre-made bow on top.

Play is important. Play is how children learn. Cooking, music, art, movement and sharing, are all vital to human development and are all considered to be actual food for the brain. Math can wait, sentence structure can be put off, but social skill development, expressive language and fine motor only have a small window of opportunity to be learned and enriched (neurologically speaking.) Make play a priority and you’re ensuring the future success and mental health of your child. What a great gift to give for the holidays! So skip the USB doll and go for the tub of play dough. Or better yet, make your own batch WITH your kid!

Disneys A Christmas Carol A Mom Review

2009-11-07T01:36:00.000-08:00

A Christmas Carol has always been one of my favorite tales. Ghosts, redemption, salvation, lesson learned AND the holidays? What’s not to love? So when I had to stay out of my house all day yesterday (thanks plumbers), I decided to treat myself to a little escapism and go see Disney’s new A Christmas Carol.

Let me start my review by saying, I wish there was a rating between PG and PG-13, maybe PG-8? Like Coraline, this movie would qualify. There were many terrifying sequences and two children behind me were crying and begging to leave at the “door knocker” sequence; about 10minutes into the movie. Their parents conceded and the kids left. There’s also a lot of dialogue and character emphasis which would boor the very young. I didn’t see it in 3-D, although it was offered both ways at our theater. During the movie I found myself wondering if any child under 10 seeing it in 3-D actually made it to the end of the film.

The animation was wonderful, but I found myself comparing the larger characters in the film to bloated corpses. Perhaps that was just the general darker undertone of this particular version coming across? But I found it a little eerie. The sound quality and effects were also noticeably well done. The whole feel of the film reminded me of a cross between Shrek (the computer animation cutting-edge techniques) and Geri’s Game, the Pixar short about an old man playing chess with himself in the park.

The voice acting was very well done and I enjoyed the fact that each character looked quite a bit like its celebrity voice. Jim Carrey as Scrooge reminded me so much of his character Count Olaf in the Series of Unfortunate Events that I had to keep reminding myself Scrooge wasn’t after any orphans.

The main issue I had with the film was the total lack of diversity. Everyone is white and Christian. This is true of the story in general however and with the exception of Muppets A Christmas Carol, you will find this problem in every version.

I personally enjoy “darker” movies like, The Nightmare Before Christmas and Coraline, so I’d have to say this is my new favorite version of A Christmas Carol. I didn’t think anyone could beat out Patrick Stewart in my holiday loving heart, so this is a compliment indeed.

If you do plan on taking smaller children to see A Christmas Carol, I have some suggestions.

1) Watch the trailer together first, so they know a little about what to expect.

2) Watch another version at home first (like Mickey’s a Christmas Carol), so again, they know what to expect, and have a lighter version for comparison.

3) Know that it starts right off with the dead corpse of Jacob Marley.

4) If you do decide to leave during the movie, don’t leave during a “scary” part. Wait till they see the resolution and its back to a happier part.

5) Talk about it after. There’s a lot of good moral discussion to be had (like helping other people, feeling cranky, money, etc…)

Teeter Totter Mama

All Work and No Play…

A Mighty Mama

Winner?

A "Thank You" Gift EVERYONE Will Love!

Sex and the Sillies (2)

Wake Up Call

Free/Cheap Summer Ideas

Family as Lab Rats

Summer Plans?

Impulse Control

Lean Green Machine

Mama Pride

Unexpected Pleasures

Hairy Situation

Women's Festival

I HATE WAITING!

Must Have "apps" for Special Needs Families

Feels Like the Weekend French Toast

Help Our Schools (again)

Family Stress Workshop

Must have apps for special needs families

He Survived!

Confession

How Does Your Garden Grow?

Family Support

I Think I Can

No! Wait! Stop!

Back in My Day!

Learn, Grow & Shop!

Three Months In

iLove It!

I Want to SPRING!

Bad Trucking Mama!

Running with Lurch

YES! Your Teens Crazy!

Picture Perfect

Combating Stress

Moms Gone Wild!

RIP Big Blue Whale

Lowjack Your Kid?

Ps and Qs

Intervention vs Teamwork

Sweet and Healthy

Just Keep Swimming

Mama Math

Secret Twin

Chocolaty Co-Op Cooking Class

Valentines Day Ideas

Are you S.A.D?

The Kid Whisperer

Mood Makeover

What to do With Older Kids!?

Education Crisis

Still Struggling to Save

No One Told Me

Whats in a Name?

Family (non)Communication

Family Time TV

Need New Name

Just Do It!

Re-Thinking Only

Smoothing Food Time

Productive Procrastination

Planning is my best friend

Overnight

Best Holiday Ever

The Next Step

Happy Holidays!

A Coronary for Christmas

Late Bloomers

Nag-Free Wednesday

Best or Worst?

Sick Day for Mom

No One Told Me

Break With Tradition

From Little Bear to Man Cub

Just For Me

Puce Friday

Thanks (I guess )

Feels Like the Weekend French Toast

YES! Your Teens Crazy!

Moms Gone Wild!

Ps and Qs

Whats in a Name?

Thanks (I guess)

Disneys A Christmas Carol A Mom Review